Monthly Archives: March 2017

Fear

Stop creating what you fear

One of the things I love about being a kinesiologist is helping my clients observe their behaviours, beliefs and thoughts.  Awareness being the key to change.   Until recently I hadn’t realised just how many people are creating the very thing they fear.

Client after client, no matter what they were working on, were sabotaging themselves from achieving their goals because inadvertently they were manifesting the very thing they feared happening.  This meant instead of the “fear” maybe happening they had created it to happen.

Sam* wanted to be in a relationship, however she feared being rejected.  Now when Sam attracts Mr Right there is a 50% chance she may be rejected, however there is also a 50% chance that she may have a loving supportive relationship.    Yet before Sam could even meet Mr Right, she was already living in the pain of being rejected.

Evie* wanted to let go and be accepting, however she feared not being in control.  When we looked at this in depth because she couldn’t let go it caused her additional work.  This caused her frustration and resulted in her loosing her temper – she lost control.  So not letting go ultimately caused what she feared.

Why would people do this?

In all of the examples I have where clients were doing this, they actually weren’t aware they were doing it.  Many people are so busy in their days to days lives they don’t have (or make) the time for self awareness.  And many people when they are self aware don’t have the tools to shift or change their habit, belief and/or pattern.

Focus

What we focus on, consciously or unconsciously, is what we attract.  Even if what we are focusing on isn’t beneficial for us.

Defensive driving instructors advise that if you are in a car accident focus on where you want / need the car to go.  Do not look at the wall or tree that may be near.  The reasons for this is because your actions are more likely to support you in taking the car in the direction you are looking at.

So too in life, wherever we put our energy (which is what we think about, talk about and look at) will determine our actions and behaviours.  In all the examples I have people had been focusing on what they didn’t want to be instead of what actually could be.  As soon as they realised this it opened them up to different, and positive, possibilities.

Beliefs

Beliefs are one of the most powerful directive forces in our lives. They are generalisations that we have of ourselves and the world around us, which become the principles that we chose to live by.  Simplified, beliefs are what we consider to be true and therefore create and shape our reality – our map of the world which we consider to be real.

Beliefs are a self fulfilling prophecy.

What we believe creates an expectation of what is likely to happen, this influences our behaviours (as well as how we feel) and then creates the basis of what actions we do or don’t take. In turn the actions or activities that we are doing or not doing will be the result or outcome we achieve.

This means that if you want to change your results or your behaviours, you need be aware of your beliefs to ensure they support what you want to achieve and who you want to be.

Positive / empowering beliefs are permission slips for getting the outcomes you want.

Amygdala response

Fear is programmed in our genetic coding from the time of our prehistoric relatives.  At a time when it was vital for them to respond effectively to physical and emotional dangers.  Our Prehistoric ancestors needed fear in order to protect themselves from legitimate threats.

In this day and age whilst threats exist, we no longer need to be on such high alert.  However without the reprogramming of the amygdala we still have a safe hold on this response.

Changing the pattern

Do Fear Daily

When you do something you fear, you are in fact practising courage.  The more fearful things you do the more you train your brain not to let fear stop you.  It’s kind of like building a muscle, yet in this case you are building your courage muscle.

So each and every day do something you fear (which is safe and within reason).  Whilst it might not be the very thing you fear, it is inadvertently helping you to choose to act in the right way with any fear.

Change Focus

To change your focus you just need bring awareness to what you are placing your attention to.  This can be done by being mindful of how you are feeling.  If you aren’t feeling good then it is likely you are thinking about something which isn’t serving you.

You can also change your focus on a subject by considering:

  • What is great about the <issue> right now?
  • What are the benefit of <issue>?
  • What is going well in life?
  • What makes you happy?
  • What can I do today that will support what I need?
Change your beliefs

Commonly it is thought that our beliefs have a hold on us when in fact we have a hold on them. The first step to changing beliefs is the desire to let them go.

Negative beliefs are any thoughts, feelings you have which don’t support you in getting what you want. These are the ones you want to dispel….I’ve just seen this word in such a different way DIS-SPEL which reminded me of this quote:

Consider the topic which you want to examine your beliefs about. Write down all your thoughts about that topic. You could also bring awareness to what you say to yourself about this topic and/or what do you say to others.

When / if you have any negative feelings arising when you think about or doing this topic, consider what you were thinking to cause that feeling.

Two negatives make a positive, so now is time to negate the negative!  The way in which you do this is to disturb the references that are supporting the beliefs.  To do this question your beliefs:

  • What does that mean to you to believe that? How does it serve you?
  • Where and when did you start believing that?
  • What will happen if you change this belief?
  • What are the benefits of not solving your belief?
  • What are the consequences of continuing to believe that?
  • What examples/references do you have where the opposite is true?
  • What belief is equally if not more so true?
Train your amygdala

The pre-frontal cortex is the part of our brain which holds the key to our executive functions such as:  reasoning, problem solving, innovative, understanding and perception, impulsion,  creativity and perseverance.    Functions that help us think before we act.

The amygdala in fact is the opposite, it often cause emotive reactions.  However the pre-frontal cortex has dynamic inhibitory circuits which mute and still the amygdala.

Ways to strengthen the pre-frontal cortex are:

  • Meditation
  • Stay positive and away from negative drama
  • Play memory games
  • Learn something new such as juggling or another language
  • Get adequate sleep
  • Kinesiology!

By being aware of habit this you can start living in the now.  When you live in the now you have an improved probability to creating what you really desire!

If you would like additional support to creating what you desire then consider an appointment with one of our skilled kinesiologists.  Use this link to schedule an appointment now:  http://www.theinnersageaustralia.com/appointments/

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Self Relationship

Transforming your self relationship

A few years ago I was in a relationship that wasn’t supportive of me.   I was unsupported as to who I am, what I believe in, my wants and needs as well as what I wanted to achieve.  It wasn’t long before I realised that I was, and very quickly, loosing my own identity.

I found myself terribly unhappy and waking up with anxiety on most days; which drained my energy leaving me tired and lethargic.  I also found that I was loosing my confidence and thus not trusting my decisions or ability to make decisions.

My relationship with my-self began to diminish.  My self worth decreased as did my self love and self respect.  Resulting in me almost sabotaging the very things that were and are important to me.   Luckily I was studying kinesiology at the time and despite my conscious mind not wanting to see certain things, thank body my did and revealed the stresses and impact they were having on me.

Alchemy derives from the Greek word khemeia which means “art of transmuting metals.”  The Alchemist’s vocation was mainly two things:  1. transforming base metals into gold; and 2. seeking the elixir of life.  Such an elixir would give everlasting life and cure sickness.

Simplified alchemy is transforming something that is dull into something precious and finding the key to a happy and long life.  Therefore Self Relationship Alchemy is transforming the how we interact with ourselves.  Treating ourselves with great love, value and precious-ness!  As well as living a happier life which most likely leads to a longer life!

For many (women in particular) the “self” relationship, being such things as self-confidence, self-belief, self-worth, self-love and self-respect is often non existent.  The lack of such qualities is seemingly acceptant just as “the way they are” and it isn’t until enormous pain and unhappiness occurs that they consider transforming this.

Your relationship with yourself is reflected in ALL other areas of life.  Finances, friendships, relationships, career, environments.  What you do and don’t attract in life.  So if you are attracting people and situations that are less than you deserve and/or want, consider how the relationship with yourself is.

Ways to Alchemise your Self Relationship

  • Set boundaries:  Where are you limits of what you are willing to accept.  Be clear on what behaviours, communication and interaction is acceptable for you to receive from others.
  • Be Courageous:   Once you know what you are and aren’t willing to accept them you need to be brave and speak up.  Let others know that what they are doing isn’t OK and that you need it to change.
  • Loving Activities:   Do more of the things you love doing.  Those things perhaps you haven’t done for while and those activities that make you happy when doing them.
  • Attention Placement:  What are you focusing on?  It is empowering or dis-empowering?  What “stories” are you telling yourself which are stemming from a perception rather than fact?
  • Build confidence “muscle”:  Confidence is like building a muscle, it takes time and repetitive activities.  So start small and let it build!
  • Stop loathing activities:  Do less of the things you dislike doing.  Better still outsource them or just stop doing them!
  • Inspiringly Align:  Read quotes, books, insights anything that lifts up your spirit and transforms your day.
  • Resonate Essences:  Find the right essence/s for you and start taking them.  I’ve found them to tranformative!
  • Treat yourself as you treat others:  Often we treat others better than ourselves, so start interacting with yourself as if you were another.  Actually treat yourself better than that!
  • See your Kinesiologist:  OK, this one is a bit cheeky!  However in my practice I have been able to help my clients uncover the patterns and blockages that impede them from alchemising their “self” relationship.
    More importantly I have given my clients tools and techniques to clear them clear such blockages so that they are empowered having self confidence, love, respect, worth and self belief.

 

Know you are not everyone’s cup of tea and that there will be people who won’t like you, who won’t agree with who you are or with what you do.  In my experience, in most cases, this happens when that person is projecting their own “stuff” rather than owning it.

Whatever the case is, the stronger you are within yourself, the more you know who you are, love and accept all aspects of who you are …. what others think simply won’t matter.

Also the more that you invest into your “self” relationship you will find that your external world will reflect this and that  you will attract more of what you deserve and desire.

We have both face to face and skype sessions available.  If you are interested in scheduling a session with us please click on this link:  http://www.theinnersageaustralia.com/appointments/

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heartbreak

Moving on from heartbreak

In my 20’s my friends would laugh at my comical stories regarding my love life and trust me there was a few!  However there were a few which weren’t so comical, the hurt went a lot deeper which even I couldn’t laugh about.

Heartbreak can be such a difficult thing to move through and isn’t anything I would wish upon anybody.  It can be debilitating.  I recall not being able to eat, having that pit in the bottom of my stomach, not being able to focus on anything else other that “him” and the crying….I just couldn’t stop crying.  Everything felt hopeless and it felt like it would never end.

However it did and after going through the process a few times I came to understand there were things that I could do to help move myself through the grieving process!

When we enter into a relationship the bonding with that person happens on many levels other than just the physical.  We also bond with them on a spiritual level, an emotional level and on a biochemical level.  So when we physically break up with someone those others levels are often left unresolved and thus we are still connected to them.  This is one of the reasons that we find it difficult to let them go!

Vibrational Mis-match

Relationships break up because there is a vibrational mis-match.  What that means is our energy which is a result of our thoughts, beliefs, actions is not compatible or in harmony with another.  So not everyone vibrates at our level and nor do we at theirs.

If there is an energy mis-match then the bond between the two people is unstable energy. Unstable energy requires additional energy in order to try to keep it stable.

Usually there is one party who will be giving this additional energy and will do so until they are drained and unable to give any more.  However, as in science without constant energy being given to maintain this unstable energy it will decay.

Action:  Consider the mis-match of the relationship, in what ways were you and are you not compatible.  Who was the person who put in the additional energy to try to keep the bond working?  How was it draining to you?  to them?

Relationship Amensia

When we break up with someone it is very easy to fall into the mind trap of forgetting all the things that were making us unhappy in the relationship.  To only remember the good things that happened, the fun times as well as the positive traits the person has.

We get relationship amnesia which blocks the “bad” memories; the things we didn’t like about the person or what they did.  The facts and truths about what went on.

Action:  Get real about the relationship.  Whilst there would have been happy times and positive traits in the other person, you need to focus on all truths.  So for you to let go and move on focus on the other aspect – the negative traits they person has as well as the things that made you feel less or detracted from you and having a healthy relationship.

Heartbreak What if’s

Even if I was the one who had done the breaking up, something that would play with my head space was the “what if”.  What if they find someone else.  It seemed that if they found someone else, I would consider this as a failure on my behalf.

The likelihood is that they will move on to someone else, just as you most likely will.  If you resonate with the “what if” one of these two concepts may help you:

  1. You have lost someone who may not have loved you, however more importantly they have lost someone who loved them.
  2. You chose to reject what this person was offering.  What they were capable of giving.  So if / when they find someone else it is because the person they attract is wiling to accept what’s on offer.

Action:  Place the value on yourself on what you have to offer, rather than on them.  Also consider the reason you are giving your power away and stop it!

Cut the energy cords

As mentioned previously when we connect with someone it is not just physically.  We also create energy cords with them via our energy centres called chakras.  Cords are typically created at the heart, solar plexus and base chakras.  They connect two people’s subtle bodies and allows for an exchange of emotional and chi energy.

A such a cord is energetic and not of physical substance, thus physical interaction and distance is irrelevant.  This means someone can have an affect on us even if they are not around or in contact with us.

Action:  Disconnect from another by either calling your spirit back and / or cutting these energetic cords.

Refer to our article:  http://www.theinnersageaustralia.com/2016/04/30/calling-your-spirit-back/

Emotion addiction

Your emotions are a chemical response to our stimulus’ in our environment.   Our brain creates chemicals call neuropeptides which the body receives via receptors and similar to drug addictions your body becomes hooked on receiving the chemicals your emotions (good or bad) generate.

Therefore if you are in a less than healthy relationship which creates drama, your body can become hooked on the emotion that such drama creates.  So when you break up with that person and there is no more drama, you will unconsciously create drama for your “fix”.  In this instance the drama can be that you won’t let them go.

Action:  Change the way you are thinking so that you are focused on things that make you happy.  You could also create new “fixes” to positive emotions by doing things that make you happy.

Another idea is to consider what you have considered unconsciously what love is and re-define it into something that is more positive.

Nurture yourself

Above everything else when you are experiencing heartbreak it is an ideal time for self love and nurturing.  This can via eating nourishing foods and abstaining from refined sugars and carbohydrates.  Drinking plenty of water and detoxing from alcohol at least for the short term.

Make a list of the things that make you happy, that you enjoy doing them and start building these things into your routine.

Take time to journal, to let your thoughts and feelings flow out and onto the page.  Studies have show that journaling has a therapeutic effect and is a safe and cathartic way to release the person and/or event.    I am also a great believer that you don’t have to keep what you have written and if it feels right you can burn it or rip it up to really let go of it.

Meditation is another great way to calm and nurture the mind, body and soul.  Particularly guided meditations which are aimed at releasing or letting go.

Action:  Schedule in your diary time for yourself and make note of how you will spend that time.

So whilst it may seem that your world is crumbling and there is no end to this pain, if you can find just enough strength to do one or all of these suggestions they will help you to move forward.  Help you to resolve the heartbreak you are feeling and accept what has happened, enabling you to move out of this draining space and into a much happier one.

Your heartbreak has a reason and there is a powerful lesson for you to learn.  The quicker that you learn this lesson, the quicker you find yourself.  In addition to this when you establish a healthy loving relationship with yourself, the more likely and quicker you will get back on the right path to finding love outside yourself.

If you find yourself still struggling with your heartbreak you may want to consider kinesiology.  Contact us now via: http://www.theinnersageaustralia.com/appointments/

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