In my 20’s my friends would laugh at my comical stories regarding my love life and trust me there was a few! However there were a few which weren’t so comical, the hurt went a lot deeper which even I couldn’t laugh about.
Heartbreak can be such a difficult thing to move through and isn’t anything I would wish upon anybody. It can be debilitating. I recall not being able to eat, having that pit in the bottom of my stomach, not being able to focus on anything else other that “him” and the crying….I just couldn’t stop crying. Everything felt hopeless and it felt like it would never end.
However it did and after going through the process a few times I came to understand there were things that I could do to help move myself through the grieving process!
When we enter into a relationship the bonding with that person happens on many levels other than just the physical. We also bond with them on a spiritual level, an emotional level and on a biochemical level. So when we physically break up with someone those others levels are often left unresolved and thus we are still connected to them. This is one of the reasons that we find it difficult to let them go!
Relationships break up because there is a vibrational mis-match. What that means is our energy which is a result of our thoughts, beliefs, actions is not compatible or in harmony with another. So not everyone vibrates at our level and nor do we at theirs.
If there is an energy mis-match then the bond between the two people is unstable energy. Unstable energy requires additional energy in order to try to keep it stable.
Usually there is one party who will be giving this additional energy and will do so until they are drained and unable to give any more. However, as in science without constant energy being given to maintain this unstable energy it will decay.
Action: Consider the mis-match of the relationship, in what ways were you and are you not compatible. Who was the person who put in the additional energy to try to keep the bond working? How was it draining to you? to them?
When we break up with someone it is very easy to fall into the mind trap of forgetting all the things that were making us unhappy in the relationship. To only remember the good things that happened, the fun times as well as the positive traits the person has.
We get relationship amnesia which blocks the “bad” memories; the things we didn’t like about the person or what they did. The facts and truths about what went on.
Action: Get real about the relationship. Whilst there would have been happy times and positive traits in the other person, you need to focus on all truths. So for you to let go and move on focus on the other aspect – the negative traits they person has as well as the things that made you feel less or detracted from you and having a healthy relationship.
Heartbreak What if’s
Even if I was the one who had done the breaking up, something that would play with my head space was the “what if”. What if they find someone else. It seemed that if they found someone else, I would consider this as a failure on my behalf.
The likelihood is that they will move on to someone else, just as you most likely will. If you resonate with the “what if” one of these two concepts may help you:
- You have lost someone who may not have loved you, however more importantly they have lost someone who loved them.
- You chose to reject what this person was offering. What they were capable of giving. So if / when they find someone else it is because the person they attract is wiling to accept what’s on offer.
Action: Place the value on yourself on what you have to offer, rather than on them. Also consider the reason you are giving your power away and stop it!
Cut the energy cords
As mentioned previously when we connect with someone it is not just physically. We also create energy cords with them via our energy centres called chakras. Cords are typically created at the heart, solar plexus and base chakras. They connect two people’s subtle bodies and allows for an exchange of emotional and chi energy.
A such a cord is energetic and not of physical substance, thus physical interaction and distance is irrelevant. This means someone can have an affect on us even if they are not around or in contact with us.
Action: Disconnect from another by either calling your spirit back and / or cutting these energetic cords.
Refer to our article: http://www.theinnersageaustralia.com/2016/04/30/calling-your-spirit-back/
Your emotions are a chemical response to our stimulus’ in our environment. Our brain creates chemicals call neuropeptides which the body receives via receptors and similar to drug addictions your body becomes hooked on receiving the chemicals your emotions (good or bad) generate.
Therefore if you are in a less than healthy relationship which creates drama, your body can become hooked on the emotion that such drama creates. So when you break up with that person and there is no more drama, you will unconsciously create drama for your “fix”. In this instance the drama can be that you won’t let them go.
Action: Change the way you are thinking so that you are focused on things that make you happy. You could also create new “fixes” to positive emotions by doing things that make you happy.
Another idea is to consider what you have considered unconsciously what love is and re-define it into something that is more positive.
Above everything else when you are experiencing heartbreak it is an ideal time for self love and nurturing. This can via eating nourishing foods and abstaining from refined sugars and carbohydrates. Drinking plenty of water and detoxing from alcohol at least for the short term.
Make a list of the things that make you happy, that you enjoy doing them and start building these things into your routine.
Take time to journal, to let your thoughts and feelings flow out and onto the page. Studies have show that journaling has a therapeutic effect and is a safe and cathartic way to release the person and/or event. I am also a great believer that you don’t have to keep what you have written and if it feels right you can burn it or rip it up to really let go of it.
Meditation is another great way to calm and nurture the mind, body and soul. Particularly guided meditations which are aimed at releasing or letting go.
Action: Schedule in your diary time for yourself and make note of how you will spend that time.
So whilst it may seem that your world is crumbling and there is no end to this pain, if you can find just enough strength to do one or all of these suggestions they will help you to move forward. Help you to resolve the heartbreak you are feeling and accept what has happened, enabling you to move out of this draining space and into a much happier one.
Your heartbreak has a reason and there is a powerful lesson for you to learn. The quicker that you learn this lesson, the quicker you find yourself. In addition to this when you establish a healthy loving relationship with yourself, the more likely and quicker you will get back on the right path to finding love outside yourself.
If you find yourself still struggling with your heartbreak you may want to consider kinesiology. Contact us now via: http://www.theinnersageaustralia.com/appointments/