Self confidence isn’t something you can buy off a self. Building self confidence is a process. It is a way of being which you create, or perhaps access, internally.
To possess self confidence is to have belief, trust, faith and an assurance in who you are and/or your abilities. It is an internal state about what you think, and feel, about yourself. Your confidence is fluid, which means it is a changeable state that can be dependent on: what is happening around you; how you process and respond to situations, people, etc and your experiences.
Building your confidence in your self gives you a tool you can draw upon to stop second-guessing yourself, to release doubts, manage your fears and to take action. Self confidence can be likened to a muscle; in that the more you use it the more you strengthen it!
When you think about things you do daily such as making a cup of tea, logging into your computer, making a phone call, driving a vehicle, or getting the bus, you most likely have confidence to do these things.
Remember that confidence is having trust, belief, faith and assurance in your self and your abilities. It could be suggested that it is not that you lack confidence however you are lacking acknowledgement of your abilities and that you can transfer this to other tasks or areas.
In my experience, confidence is similar to the four stages of learning. Which fundamentally teaches us that to be competence or perhaps confident there is a process we go through via learning and repetition.
Commonly I have found when asked what a person needs to do to build their self confidence, their response to be “I don’t know”. For some it is such a foreign concept and thus they don’t know where to start.
Here are some tried and proven ways to build your self confidence:
- Focus. At the end of the day review what you achieved and/or what you did well. Place your focus on what you are doing, rather than what you aren’t doing.
- Regularly recognise and celebrate your achievements – it’s healthy to do so!
- Self Talk. Become aware of how you speak and what you say to yourself. If it isn’t positive “cancel / delete” it and say something nice to yourself.
- Exercise. Go for a walk, run or to the gym. Yoga, swimming, whatever exercise that makes you feel good.
- Posture. Stand tall, shoulders back and head high. Scientific studies show that posture impacts the brain!
- Learn something new. Not only does it help make new neurological pathways it also helps show you that you can grasp new information.
- Do something “fearful” each day. By doing so we are teaching ourselves to “feel the fear and do it anyway”. Each time building your confidence muscle that you CAN achieve things.
- Smile. According to science smiling increases endorphin’s which in turn create positive emotions; including confidence!
- Know yourself. Understand all aspects of who you are; what your strengths are as well as what you consider your less than great traits are. The next step is to find the benefits to these “weaknesses”. When you know who you are and love all aspects of who you are then no one else can affect you.
- Trust your instincts. We all have an innate knowing within, learn to listen to it and have faith in what you feel is right / wrong.
- Emanate someone who is confident. Consider someone you respect and whom you feel is confident. Identify what it is they do differently that conveys confidence and how you can embrace that.
- Stop comparing yourself. When your compare yourself, you automatically put your self down and discount your own positive aspects.
- Get clear on the things and people that truly matter to you. Create a list of the things or people you have been tolerating and then consider what action you need to take to either remove or minimise the impact.
- Manual control. Disengage your auto pilot and be mindful about your decisions so they reflect what really matters to you.
- Create an action plan. Be deliberate about action you will take and commit to following through. Ensure you acknowledge the actions and benefits so you can see your progress. It helps grow confidence and give self reinforcement.
Being confident isn’t a goal or an end-point that you reach and then stop. It is an ongoing and continuous process. Confidence can be likened to a flowering plant. It doesn’t flower on command, instead after being nourished via various ways it flourishes; over and over again.
If after trying these techniques you are still struggling with your self confidence then consider scheduling an appointment for kinesiology. You can book an appointment with us via: http://www.theinnersageaustralia.com/appointments/