No matter how much personal development or “work” we do on ourselves there will always be people, situations or things that happen which will stress, challenge and most likely upset us. Resilience is the one thing that makes a major difference to how well we “bounce back” from such times.
Resilience is the ability to adapt, overcome and rebound from less than easy life events and experiences. To be able to change and approach how we view and address such situations as effectively and beneficially as possible.
It has often been described as an art and perhaps it is, however I more so consider it to be a quality that anyone can create. Resilience can be described as a choice; a choice to rise beyond adversity.
To transcend the pain, stress and unhappiness to develop mastery over how something affects you. To develop a strong self worth and belief within yourself and your capabilities. Thus to know that you can handle anything that comes your way.
Benefits of resilience
Due to our personal history, influential people in our life and the environment we have been brought up in, resilience will vary from person to person. Also during our lifetime our resilience can fluctuate.
So whilst some people will be more resilient than others, most people will need to develop this trait. The most common way to do this is to experience challenging situations however there are methods we can consciously engage to help build resilience.
Individuals who have resilience tend to:
- have a positive “self” relationship (self confidence, self worth, self belief, self respect and self love)
- be in control of and manage their emotions effectively
- accept that life is a balance of “Yin / Yang” (good and not so good AND there is good in the not so good)
- have self awareness of their reactions in order to change them
- understand the motivation behind others reactions and behaviours
- believe they can influence situations
- live in an empowered mindset rather than a victim mentality
- seek solutions rather than problems
- are effective listeners and communicators
- develop networks and ask for help when needed
As previously mentioned anyone can build resilience if they choose to. For some, due to their circumstances and adversities, they may already have resilience however they may not have acknowledged it.
So perhaps the first step is to consider and acknowledge where you actually do have resilience. What are those situations where you’ve been able to demonstrate the above traits?
Other ways to build resilience are:
- Start each day with being heart unified. Place your hands in your heart area. This helps to bring your consciousness from your head into your heart. Now consider what are you (or could you be) grateful for? Who are you grateful for? What happened today or yesterday that you are thankful for? What makes you happy? or makes you smile?
- Keep a success journal. For how we suggest to do this, read our article: Inner Sage Article – Journalling
- Know yourself to Love yourself. List your positive traits and strengths. Now list your negative traits. Now what are the positives / benefits of those negative traits.
- Redefine what perfection is. Know there is perfection in imperfection and consider this: how do you know that what you consider as “imperfection” is not actually perfect?!!
- Nurture yourself, do something that is just for you
- Connect with like minded people and/or spend time with people who make you laugh and feel good
- Consider what is in your sphere of influence and what is not. Give energy only to those things that you can influence and/or change. Let go of what you can’t.
- Learn something new. Not only does it help make new neurological pathways it also shows you that you ARE capable
- Do something “fearful” each day. By doing so we are teaching ourselves to “feel the fear and do it anyway”. Each time building your confidence muscle that you CAN achieve things
- Make a list of what you’ve been putting aside and do one thing each day
- Consider the benefits or upside of a stressful / challenging situation, person, etc. What is the lesson or insight that it provides for you
Resilience is similar to Rome, it wasn’t built in one day. If you are serious to building it then you will need to commit to taking actions on a regular basis. When you do this you will find the easier it does become to bounce back from those challenging and stressful situations.
If after trying these techniques you are still struggling with building resilience then consider scheduling an appointment for kinesiology. You can book an appointment with us via: http://www.theinnersageaustralia.com/appointments/