Category Archives: Kinesiology

Wounded Person

Loving a person who has been emotionally wounded

Loving a person who has been emotionally wounded is a less than easy task, it really does take someone special to see through their patterns and help them to trust others again. Wounded people are mostly sensitive, gentle souls who feel and love wholeheartedly, yet currently are feeling unsafe to do so again. Their wounds are carried deeply in their heart and they are typically expecting to be wounded again.

Noting, if you are being treated in an unacceptable and disrespectful manner (physically, emotionally &/or mentally), no matter how much you can see that they are intrinsically a good person, their wounds are not an excuse for you accepting bad behaviour. Unless the wounded person is remorseful for their behaviour and actively seeking support to resolve this, it is unlikely that they will change.

Emotional wounds are experienced both in the mind and the heart, increasing stress both mentally and physically. It can change the way a person thinks and feels. Emotional and physical pain are processed by the same areas of the brain, which is why heartbreak can feel like it is literally hurting. The medical name for the stress of a heartbreaking situation is Takotsubo Cardiomyopathy The symptoms are similar to that of a heart attack, yet unlike a heart attack there is no permanent damage.

Heart Coherence

Your heart emanates more energy than your brain, producing an electromagnetic field approximately one metre around your body. It is suggested that this field is a carrier of information.

Research shows at your emotional state will create a pattern of energy reflective of what that emotion is, which is then carried in the field emanating around you. In turn this pattern of energy influences your energy levels, the clarity of your thinking, boosts your immune system and orders your nervous system.

The emotionally wounded person has usually built walls around themselves and this emanates in their field. So they may not let you in, yet if they do they may not be letting you completely in. In order to become wholehearted it is ideal their healing incorporates all layers – physical, mental, emotional and energetic – which by the way kinesiology does!

At some stage the person who has been emotionally wounded loved unconditionally, they gave themselves entirely over to love and trusted in it. Only for that trust to be taken advantage of.

Their wounds will often be displayed by certain behaviours, actions and mindsets such as sarcasm, insecurity, fear, and a lack of trust – blaming, questioning, etc. Their own sense of self may be lost to them resulting in low self esteem. They won’t be able to see the reason you love them, because they can’t see it for themselves.

Techniques to support

At times it may feel like you are walking on eggshells around them, endeavouring not to trigger them by what you say or do. This is not healthy for you or for your partner. Its understanding the reason behind their trigger and having techniques or tools that support you, and them, in managing the situation.

It is not your job the heal the wounded person, however there are certainly things you can do to support them becoming and loving wholly again.

Trustworthiness

Always be honest and tell the truth, even if you think the truth will hurt them. A lie is a lie and no matter how small holds the same energy as a major one. The wounded person is on a more heightened alert and will typically pick up on the energy of the lie. Yet they will misread the energy and think it is something more, heightening their insecurity.

Most lies are often uncovered and such deception creates instability. It reinforces to the wounded person that you cannot be trusted and that you will hurt them. Trust me, it is not worth it.

When you are honest and upfront, this shows the wounded person that they can rely on you. That you are dependable and honourable. Which means for them that it is safe to be with you.

Reassurance

Most of all the wounded person needs reassurance. Reassurance that assists them to eliminate their doubts and fears. Unconsciously the wounded person may be seeking evidence that they are going to be wounded again. Also “creating” evidence in their minds to make their fears real.

Reassurance gives the wounded person a reference that what they fear or believe is not true. The more references they are the less that fear will come into play. Reassurance gives the wounded person confirmation that they are loveable. That you have their back. That you are not going anywhere and that they are safe.

Create a wholeheartedly safe space

To live wholeheartedly means living life from a place of worthiness. Wholeheartedly means that despite imperfections a person is worthy of love and belonging. That they are safe to be in the uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure of a relationship.

When you can contribute to creating a space where the broken person is taught that despite their shortcomings you still love them, they will begin to love themselves. You can also remind them what is lovable about them.

That whilst there is uncertainty and risk to focus on what is certain. Because what you focus on today will create more of tomorrow. Reinforce that you want the same things from the relationship. This helps create more certainty for them and gets them to change their focus.

You are strong, and brave, enough to help them navigate their emotions. Ask them open questions about how they are feeling (never start with “why”) to get them to name their emotion and what is driving it. Have suggestions on what they can do to dissolve the emotion such as journaling, going for a walk or meditating. Assist them in determining what that part of them that is experiencing the emotion needs right now.

Let the wounded person know how beautiful their vulnerability is and how much you value it. Show them that you honour their vulnerability and respect it via your own behaviours.

Remember the wounded person does not believe in them self and may question your sincerity. By being consistent in your positive words, actions and deeds you will create a wholehearted space that gives them a create references to believe.

Understand her Love Language

People express their love in one of five ways, this is known as the “Five Love Languages”. Not only do we express our love in a certain way, we also expect to be loved in this same way. Our love language is how we will gauge whether we are loved. Whilst we may use a combination of the love languages we primarily have one more prominent love language.

In a relationship we will usually have a different love language from our partner which often resulting in miscommunications of love. It can be like we are literally talking a different language.

According to Gary Chapman, who introduced the concept, by a slight margin the most common prominent love language is words of affirmation. This is based on the responses of 10,000 people who took the online quiz in December 2010. The full breakdown is:

  • Words of affirmation – 23%
  • Quality time – 20%
  • Acts of service – 20%
  • Physical touch – 19%
  • Receiving gifts – 18%

Here is the link to the official Love Languages website which has videos on the love languages as well as a quiz to determine your (and your partner’s love language). https://www.5lovelanguages.com/

6 Needs to feel Love

Men and women think, perceive, feel and appreciate differently. Which means they will respond differently in situations, especially in relationships and in being wounded.

When we understand the different needs our partner has, and by fulfilling those needs, we can help them to feel loved. When a person feels loved then they have the capacity and energy to love.

For men these needs are:

  • Trust – That he is doing his best and wants the best for his partner
  • Acceptance – By welcoming who he is (not trying to change him) and trust he will make his own improvements
  • Appreciation – Acknowledging the benefit you receive by his efforts and behaviours and showing you value those efforts
  • Admiration – Regard his with authentic awe and positive fascination (e.g. by asking his feedback and advice)
  • Approval – Recognise and look for the positive reasons behind what he does
  • Encouragement – Express confidence in his abilities and in who he is

For women they are:

  • Caring – Show interest in her feelings and her concern for her wellbeing
  • Understanding – Listen without judgement and allow her to be heard. Ask questions, don’t presume and don’t offer advice
  • Respect – Take your partner’s needs, wishes and desires into consideration. Remember important dates and rituals
  • Devotion – Remember to also make her a priority regularly. Make her feel adored and special
  • Validation – Confirm how she is feeling and validate that she has a right to feel that way, noting you can validate whilst feeling a different way
  • Reassurance – When you consistently care, understand, respect, devote and validate, you give reassurance that she is loved and will continue to be loved

Have Patience

Loving the wounded person will take time. They need to find that part of themselves that they lost in loving the “wrong” person. The wounded person needs need to build their self worth and realise they are enough. The need to feel secure and safe in order to trust in you.

The wounded person feels that they are too much to love and will unconsciously test this with you. At times you are likely to feel frustrated, which is understandable, yet find a way to dispel that frustration or do so gently with your partner.

To help you with having patience remember to take time for yourself so that you are “recharging your batteries”. Yet taking time also gives you space to have perspective on the behaviour/s. Remember people are NOT their behaviour/s.

Remind them

The wounded person will unconsciously be projecting others behaviours onto you, unknowingly making you responsible for what others did. Gently remind them how you are different, and with the actions you take (and don’t take) that show them that they are safe and loved. As well as the actions you don’t take

If appropriate, mention what it is you want from the relationship and that you are here for the long haul. Prompt them to acknowledge the connection that you have with them.

Loving the wounded person at times can seem too challenging and too much. At times they may seem to be too much to handle which can be frustrating. Some times this will be a test to see if you are really up for the challenge of loving them.

Whilst wounded people require more time, energy and patience and it will seem you are having to give a lot, know that once they feel and accept they are safe and secure, you will receive much more in return.

Remember there was a time when they loved unconditionally and had a lot to give, helping them reconnect with that part of them self means they will love fully again.

If you are feeling challenged by loving a wounded person, you may also need your own support. Consider kinesiology as an option to do this. For more information visit: http://www.theinnersageaustralia.com

Caring about what people think? Fantastic!

It seems to go against the norm to tell you that it is fantastic that you caring what people think (and say)!! Most would tell you not to. However people who truly don’t care about others or their opinions are typically narcisstic or sociopathic, so yeah for caring!!

However it is important to note that there is a difference between caring about what people think verses taking it on board.

Unless you fall under those two categories I believe it is impossible to not be caring about what others think. Because as humans we give meaning to things. Our brains are wired to perceive, in prehistoric times this is what kept us alive. However it is important to note that meaning doesn’t necessary equate to truth.

What you perceive someone else to be thinking about you, may not actually be true. If fact the opposite actually may be. Yet whether a person has said or thought something, or you have perceived them too, what matters more so is the weight and importance you give to it.

When you don’t have a sound sense of your own identity, then you won’t be able to love or accept yourself. And when you don’t love (or accept) yourself you are more susceptible to what others think. Therefore one of the keys to not taking on board what others think (or having perceptions of what they think) is knowing, loving and accepting yourself. It creates an armour to, and makes you less susceptible, to taking on board what others think.

Here are four principles to help protect you from onboarding:

Projection Defense Mechanism

In psychology there is a concept called “projection”. It is where a person unconsciously attributes their unwanted feelings, emotions and/or traits onto another person. It is easier for them to not like in you, what they don’t like in themselves, than to acknowledge or deal with it.

What this means is that when someone thinks (or says) something about you, they are really saying it about themselves.

Values discrepancies

Values are basically beliefs that guide your behaviours and attitudes. Your values influence how you view the world and what you consider as right or wrong. It is the gauge by which you determine the best action to take or best thing to do.

This means that when others give you their opinion of what is “right or wrong” or what action you should take, they have used the gauge they use for their own life, for you.

Life is not an “one size, fits all”. What works for one person, doesn’t necessarily work for another. What is right for one person, is not right for the next. When you are aware of this you can understand you simply have differing priorities and standards than someone else. Not right or wrong, not good or bad – just different.

Minimising

There is a wonderful saying by Madhu Vamsi, “You will never be criticized by someone who is doing more than you, you will only be criticised by someone doing less.” This was one of my most popular posts on social media, because of the truth in the words.

People who are succeeding want others to also. They feel good and solid within themselves and thus are not threatened by what someone else is doing (or wants to do). They have an abundance mindset and understand there is plenty for everyone and are happy to share. They work on the preface that everyone is equal and love seeing others elevated to feeling good about themselves.

On the other hand when someone wants to bring you down it is so they can feel good about themselves and what they aren’t doing. Because you succeeding or taking action highlights to them what they are not.

Opinions are Judgements

Bill Bullard said “Opinion is really the lowest form of human knowledge. It requires no accountability, no understanding.”

Most people who have an opinion on someone else typically never expect that person to hear what they have said, or they don’t expect the person to stand up for themselves. Nor has the opinionated person typically asked questions to gain understanding or knowledge. They have passed judgement based on what they believe to be fact, typically refuting facts.

Caring about what others think means that you are a considerate and kind person. The relationships you have with others is important to you. It is also an indicator that you need to nurture the relationship you have with yourself and to bring the focus back to yourself to build your own self love and esteem.

If you are struggling and need additional help please consider having a one on one session. Visit www.theinnersageaustralia.com

Self Worth

Self worth ~ The foundation of empowerment

The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines self worth as ” a sense of one’s own value as a human being”. It is interesting that this definition defines self worth on how a person sees themselves when in reality many people base their self worth on how they perceive others see them and/or how others treat them.

Whilst self worth is an internal “job” only you can decide if you are worthy or not. Often we have internalised other peoples perceptions and judgements to become our own. When this happens we’ve just made someone else an authority on ourselves. When we’ve made them an authority we’ve basically said they know us better than we know ourselves.

Once those perceptions and judgements have been taken on board we’ve then given them “references” or connected them so strong with emotion that they become our truth and our beliefs about ourselves. Beliefs about who we are, our beliefs as to what we do and don’t deserve and what we will and won’t accept.

Most of our belief and neurological patterns occur from the ages of two to seven.  At a time when we were unable to question what we were told, and when our parents are the most significant role models we have. Therefore the words they use (or don’t use), the actions they take (or don’t take), their reactions and non- reactions, all of which are teaching us and giving us conscious and unconscious messaging.

We then interact with the world by connecting with family, going to daycare, then school or even watching television.  All of which we discover other significant role models, who also can have a strong influence on us. Reinforcing our beliefs or supplement our beliefs by giving us new ones.

All of which is at an age when we did not have the necessary tools, nor resources to test the truisms of what we told, taught or shown.

Whilst beliefs can be created from various other sources, it is primarily significant people to whom we consciously or unconsciously give authority to regarding our self worth.

As a child or teenager it is understandable that we consider significant people in our lives as an authority ~ because they usually do have a role to discipline, decide what is right for us and give us orders. Yet as we grow into adulthood we don’t realise that we are most likely continuing to give their voice a platform.

As we mature we bring others into our lives in the form of friends and partners. People who whom we hold in strong regard and thus can have a strong influence on us and thus whom may impact our worthiness or lack thereof.

I recall in college an English teacher who told me that my writing was no good. As she was my teacher, an authority figure, I believed her. The way she also gave me this feedback, it seemed to me, that I would never be any good at it.

However I love writing. I love the creation aspect of it and it is something that gives me joy. It is something that when I am in the flow, I do so with ease. However what I realised was there was a block to me writing, instead I’d find other activities that “needed” doing.

Whilst it could be said I was procrastinating, it actually was this teacher’s words unconsciously playing in the background. Because whenever I went to write I became aware I was doubting the quality of my writing and whether any one would want to read it.

Another example of where my worth was dependant on a “significant other” was an ex-boyfriend who cheated several times during our relationship. I took his cheating as a sign that there was something wrong with me for him to do that.

In order to build your self worth you need to have awareness. Awareness of who are the significant other/s to whom you have, or are, giving a platform to. A platform for their voice and/or behaviours to mean more than your own.

The next step is consciously to take your power back from them. This is done by our “Calling your Spirit back” meditation ( http://innersagisms.thinkific.com/courses/calling-your-spirit-back-audio ).

Alternatively you can take your power back by knowing you have choice as to what you do and don’t listen to. I do this by simply saying to myself “I choose not to listen to those words any longer. I choose to listen to my own”.

You can also take your power back by re-framing what you made their actions or words mean. Re-framing is a method used to look at things from a different perspective to view a person, experience or situation in a more empowering way.

Taking the example of the teacher. As soon as I realised her words were playing in the background, I made a choice to no longer allow them to. I also re-framed this by understanding that what I wrote didn’t mean her expectations. Whilst it could have possibly needed work, it didn’t mean what I wrote was all “bad”.

Also in the example of the ex-boyfriend. We had chosen to be in a committed relationship and he didn’t maintain our agreement. It had nothing to do with me, it was about his choices. I stopped making his actions about me and instead identified his actions as reflective of him.

Significant others can trigger the creation of a belief about yourself and your worth, however you will have been seeking out references to support that belief. To help release these references you want to question their validity yet also seek out references where the opposite is true.

Using the example of the teacher, such alternative references are the many clients who’ve told me how much they love my articles and how much they help them. I’ve also been approached by publications asking me if they can use my articles. Other references are the articles which have been published.

The more references you seek out that reflect your self worth then the stronger that belief will be. The less you engage in sabotaging patterns and behaviours, the more your self worth will increase.

Your worth is within you. Stop giving others the power to affect how you feel about your self. Go within and from inside out build your own worth. Be your authority on who you are and the value you bring. Do this by knowing yourself – knowing who you are and loving all of that; knowing you are not and loving all of that also!

Healing process

Understanding the process and sequence of healing

Being on my own healing journey, as well as supporting others on their own,  I’ve often wondered what is the reason healing doesn’t happen, per say, overnight.  Why, despite all the work done to release an issue, that it either so much time and effort to be healed. Can reappear in other ways or not be 100% released.  What is the reason it usually takes several sessions of healing related to the same issue before we are liberated from it. Seeking to understand the process of healing.

The common analogy used to describe the healing process is the layers of an onion.  As in with an onion when you keep peeling the layers back you get to the core.  That too with healing as you peel back a layer, which in healing involves having acceptance of what is and what has been, letting go and integrating the lesson, you get to the core matter and healing is able to occur.

So whilst I believe this to be somewhat true of healing I don’t believe it is the best analogy to explain the reason healing takes time and/or the healing process.

Recently I saw this saying “Healing unfolds in its own time; it doesn’t look to a calendar or clock for direction” (unknown).    After having worked on several aspects of an issue, I personally came to understand that in divine timing the healing just falls into place.  Just like <snap of the fingers> that.  Similar to how a mechanical puzzle works. In that all the parts are interlinked and once the parts are in the right place the puzzle becomes whole and/or unlocks.

Each healing session can be considered as interlinked parts of the puzzle / greater picture. Knowing that each and every session has its own merit because it is critical to uncovering information required for the process of healing.     And as with a combination lock once all the parts of the code are obtained, in the right and correct order, healing occurs to be the new way of being.

The trauma, grief, pain, etc that occurs from people; situations; places; things fundamentally creates stress.  That stress winds into the body and we hold it mentally; emotionally; spiritually; physically and/or chemically.    Hence the reason it is important to have a modality (yes such as kinesiology) which helps unwind such stress from all aspects of who we are ~ mind; body and spirit.

Once stress is unwound from the body we then need to process it in order to release it as well as integrate the benefit thereof.  Sometimes that process can be very gentle however at times a person can have an adverse reaction to healing.  Which means their processing can be emotionally overwhelming.  The processing can be draining or they can have physical detoxing symptoms.   

If healing one aspect of an issue can have such an impact, imagine what healing the whole matter in one go would have on a person.  The processing would be extreme and too overwhelming for a person to move through.  Resulting in the healing having an opposing effect.  

Thus it is highly unlikely the person’s physical; mental; emotional systems could cope with such an overload of healing.   Resulting in likely burn out and them simply giving up or retreating from the world.    This being a main reason we don’t heal major issues in one session.

The process of how stress winds into our body and with healing how it is unwound out is very similar to the Fibonacci sequence / Golden Ratio / Sacred Geometry.    All of which are principles that describe the inner workings of nature and the Universe. 

These principles provide order to that which seems chaotic.  Indicating there is an intelligent design and blueprint in all that exists.  That there is no random way to which we grow. 

Cross cut of DNA

In nature we easily find these unfolding patterns and spirals; as in plants, shells, flowers and weather patterns.   The same natural patterns are found in the human body, such as our brainwaves, DNA and structures.  When you look at the cross cut of DNA it looks like a flower and the golden ratio pattern is easily seen.

When we apply this principle to healing we understand there is a natural pattern and progression which needs to unfold in order for us to have growth and evolution.    As with the Fibonacci sequence (Golden Ratio, Sacred Geometry) each session of healing combines with the previous one to provide the structure and foundation for the next stage. 

Meaning that the healing occurs in alignment with the universal order of nature, so too we follow the pattern for natural evolution to achieve universal and natural order within ourselves.  

By accepting there is a natural order to healing, a process of healing, we more easily allow for the uncovering and alignment of the code.  Such code which as with the combination lock analogy when in the right place and order gives us the key for healing to be activated.  We calibrate and align with the higher aspect of who we are to live with bliss, empowerment and ease!

If after trying these techniques you are still struggling with your healing process then consider scheduling an appointment for kinesiology.  You can book an appointment with us via:  http://www.theinnersageaustralia.com/appointments/

Wounds

Grieving – How time does not heal wounds

Grief is an emotion which is not only attributed to someone dying.  In fact it is associated with any change and adjustment, particularly those of a major and/or emotional nature.

When a person is experiencing grief typically those around them (friends, family, associates) are unsure of how to brooch the topic, uncertain of what to say, or what do.   One statement which is typically used is that “time heals all wounds”.

However after working with many clients and seeing close friends experience grief I disagree with this popular adage.  To believe that time does not heal your wounds.  Rose Kennedy was quoted:  “It has been said, ‘time heals all wounds.’ I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens, but it is never gone.”

Molecules of Emotion

Dr Candace Pert PhD, neuropharmacologist, stated:   “A feeling sparked in our mind-or body-will translate as a peptide being released somewhere.  [Organs, tissues, skin, muscle and endocrine glands],  they all have peptide receptors on them and can access and store emotional information. This means the emotional memory is stored in many places in the body, not just or even primarily, in the brain. You can access emotional memory anywhere in the peptide/receptor network, in any number of ways. I think unexpressed emotions are literally lodged in the body.  The real true emotions that need to be expressed are in the body, trying to move up and be expressed and thereby integrated, made whole, and healed.”

Time can either do one of two things;

  1. push the painful emotions and memories down to keep them at bay so they are not fresh in your conscious mind; or
  2. gives you the opportunity to discover techniques which makes it easier to navigate your wounds, grief and pain.

Which means those who are electing for option 1 (above) will simply store the emotions, replaying and duplicating their grief within the coding of their cells.   Such information /  wounding festers waiting for the “right” opportunity to bubble to the surface, which typically is at an inopportune moment.

Ultimately allowing time to heal the wound is a dis-empowering and unhealthy option.  The emotions need to be expressed in order to be released.  In having awareness of what the emotion is, we can name the emotion and therefore explore the emotion.  This is how we move forward.

Navigating Grief

There are various techniques (see below) which can help a person to navigate grief.  Yet the first step is understanding the stages of grief.  Through her extensive research Elizabeth Kúbler-Ross, a Swiss-American psychiatrist and pioneer in near-death studies,  determined the Five Stages of Grief, which are:

Denial

Denial is a conscious or unconscious to not being willing to accept the situation where the person can isolate themselves due to their refusal of the situation.  It can be due to their disbelief that the situation is happening and tends to be a defence mechanism which is masking the person’s shock of the situation.

Anger

A person will use anger as an emotion to deflect from their vulnerability of the situation and it can manifest in various ways.  They can be angry at themselves, at those close to them or those who were involved in the situation.  Endeavouring to be non-judgement with those in this stage of grief and remaining detached can assist both, all, parties.

Bargaining

This is where the person yearns for what has been lost and is categorised by the “if only” or “what if” statements. It’s where we want the situation to return to what we knew it to be, to be able to go back in time and do something different so a positive outcome happens.  Guilt is often an emotion experienced in this stage, as the person thinks of what they could have done and feel guilty for not having done it.

Depression

Here the person is preparing to bid farewell and is an indicator that the person has begun to accept the reality of the situation.  It can be described as acceptance with emotional attachment and it is natural for the person to experience feelings of sadness and regret, fear and uncertainty.

Acceptance

Usually this stage is marked by a calmness and acknowledgement of the situation, recognising that this is their reality and thus now living with the permanence of the change.  The person has re-adjusted to life as they now know it and are allowing themselves to make new connections and to enjoy life again.

Grief is a very personal thing and everyone grieves differently.  The stages do not necessary occur in a specific order, nor is there a time limit or potency set for each stage.  Also it is possible for a person to experience a stage more than once.

Tools for navigation grief

Kinesiology

Being a kinesiologist, I think it natural for this to be my number one suggestion for moving through grief.  The main reason being because it’s NOT a one size fits all solution.  Rather a kinesiology session is personalised to the individual as a kinesiologist uses the client’s own innate wisdom as to what is needed to shift and move through their grief.

Via muscle testing, a kinesiologist seeks the underlying emotion which is causing the imbalance or blockage of energy flow.  Therefore sometimes it actually isn’t the emotion that you logically think it is.  As mentioned previously when you can name the emotion (correctly)  you are able to explore and process through it.

More information can be found about kinesiology via:  What is Kinesiology?

Write & Burn

Scientific evidence shows that when a person writes they are accessing both aspects of their brain.  The physical act of writing accesses our analytical and rational left brain as well as engages our creative, intuitive, feeling right brain.

By engaging both hemispheres we increase our innovation, meaning we are able to transform and transcend situations.   James Pennebaker, a professor at the University of Texas undertook over forty years of research as to how journalling helped the individual to process significant emotional experiences.  His researched demonstrated that by spending 20 minutes per day journalling participants experienced significant improvements physically and mentally.

Unlike journalling, the concept of writing and burning is that whatever you are about to write you will not be keeping.  What I like about this is that when we know we aren’t going to keep it , and thus no one will ever see what we have written, we tend to get more honest on the page.

In addition to this the act of burning the page/s is symbolic and ritualistic.  It takes the written page and transforms it into ash, something the earth can re-cycle for a positive purpose.

Make time for Silence

Research shows that silence has many positive benefits.  Silence can be meditation however is not limited to that.  Silence can simply be spending time on your own without distractions.

Benefits of silence is:

It helps the hippocampus to grow new brain cells.  The hippocampus is an important part of the Lymbic system and is involved in the formation, organisation and storage of memories.  It is also involved with learning and the formation of emotions.

Silence works to balance our left and right brains, which results in whole brain synchronisation.  Thus neither our emotions or logic overwhelm the other.  This assists the brain in the sorting of information, enabling us to gather and process information.

The positive impact to important body and brain chemicals.  Such as  Melatonin; known as the “sleep molecule”.  It is known to is known to inhibit cancer, strengthen the immune system and slow down the ageing process.

Serotonin; known as the  “happy” neurotransmitter because it has a profound impact on our moods.  It is also thought to help regulate mood and social behaviour, appetite and digestion, sleep, memory, and sexual desire and function.

GABA;  is known as the “calm chemical” as it helps to control fear and anxiety.  It sends chemical messages throughout the brain and the nervous system and plays an important role in behaviour, perception, awareness, comprehension as well as how the body response to stress.

DHEA;  which is known as the “longevity molecule” as it counteracts cortisol.   It also helps lower depression, sadness and irritability.  It helps increase our ability to deal with stress and reduces worrying.  It also helps increase motivation and energy levels.

Endorphins;  the “natural high” hormone.  As they interact with the opiate receptors in the brain to reduce our perception of pain, similar to how morphine and codeine work.

Growth Hormone which sustains our tissues and organs, helping keeping them “youthful”.

Cortisol, which is one of the major stress hormones, is reduced.  Too much can wears down the body (and brain).  Destroying healthy muscle and bone, blocking the creation of good hormones.  It can create anxiety, depression, increased blood pressure, brain fog, insomnia and inflammation.

 

If after trying these techniques you are still struggling with processing through your grief then consider scheduling an appointment for kinesiology.  You can book an appointment with us via:  http://www.theinnersageaustralia.com/appointments/

Choices

How all your choices are supporting you

Are you aware that ALL your choices, whether they are empowering or disempowering choices are actually supporting you?

To make a choice is the act of choosing between two (or more) alternatives.  Choice then gives you possibilities of an outcome.

So when you make a choice you are simply deciding what is best for yourself in that given moment.  However it could be in that given moment, you are inadvertently supporting an aspect of yourself which isn’t in aligned with your long term goals / outcome you desire or what is really important to you.

For example lately I’ve been choosing to watch Orange is the New Black (a TV show on Netflix).  This choice isn’t a “bad” choice as it has supported me by having balance by giving me some down time.

However by making this choice I’ve also been able to avoid writing and thus “supporting” myself by not having to address a fear I have around writing.  At the time I didn’t realise that the less than great choice (to watch TV) was actually supporting my fear.

This is true for many people, they are often making choices not have awareness of their known or unknown motivation behind the choices they are making.

Ideally you want to become aware of the unconscious (or conscious) patterns that are impeding or sabotaging you from what you want, kinesiology is one effective way to do this.  As kinesiology bypasses the conscious mind using your innate wisdom to increase your awareness and thus expands the choices available to you to make.

It is also important to know that at times your choices will be made from habitual actions due to the neural pathways which have been reinforced and thus ingrained to become an automatic choice.   Which means you will usually have limited awareness until after the fact.

When we have greater awareness around our choices, we also have a great capacity to take responsibility and accountability for them.  Thus enabling us to create new and empowering neural pathways that lead us to make more suitable choices which long term become the new norm.

Increasing awareness of your choices

 

  • Self Awareness:   The key to making empowering choices is awareness.  When you are aware of what is driving your choice, whether it be an emotion, mood or re-action, then you have choice as to how you want to act and be.  Without awareness you are operating from a habitual nature. 

    At the end of the day reflect the choices that you have made.  What was each choice supporting specifically?  Were they empowering or disempowering?  How did you feel at the time you made that choice?  What were you thinking about?  What would help you to make different choices?

 

  • Journalling:  Writing  is a great way to get out of our heads as such and step out from the problem / situation and to see it from another perspective.  Also journalling allows you to get raw and honest with yourself, which means you can acknowledge how the current choices are impeding you.  Understand more about journalling with our article:   http://www.theinnersageaustralia.com/2016/04/20/journalling-a-tool-to-aid-healing/

 

Often people beat themselves up for making “wrong” choices, however ultimately a choice is just that, a choice.  There is no right or wrong choice, as every choice is supporting you.

However if you feel you’ve made a less than great choice, one which doesn’t support you, then just make another choice that does.

Self Esteem Wave

Riding the Self-Esteem Wave

Self-esteem is how you overall feel about your self.  It does encompass your the value you have for yourself as well as your self-worth.  Contradictory to what we have been led to believe, our self-esteem is not a stagnant way of being.  In fact most people, especially women, experience fluctuations with their self-esteem.

Consider it to fluctuate like the ocean wave.  When you are on the upside of the fluctuation, you feel confident, ready to take on the world; loving who you are, easily seeing your own worth and value.  However when on the downside of the wave you will second guess yourself, having doubt and being overly critical of your self.

Such ups and downs are normal, in fact they are considered as essential as long as you manage them effectively.  Dualities are every where around you; life in itself is with the duality of death.  In fact dualities are everywhere, cannot exist without the other.  The Yin/Yang symbol is one reminder of this.  That dualities which are seemingly opposite or contrary are actually complementary and interconnected.   Thus dualities ~ such as the ups and downs ~ are required to be whole.

The more acceptance you have that your self-esteem will fluctuate,  as well as understanding it is normal, the more likely you are to minimise the depth and frequency of such “waves”.  When you can “ride the wave” you are able to allow flow and surrender.  It is in such surrender that flow naturally occurs as does synchronicity.

It is important to know and accept that when you are on the downside of the fluctuation (wave) this is when your negative emotions, baggage, “stuff”, things you’ve not dealt with are more likely to present.

What exactly are your emotions?  “An emotion is a complex psychological state that involves three distinct components: a subjective experience, a physiological response, and a behavioural or expressive response.”  (Hockenbury & Hockenbury, 2007).

The word emotion originates from the French word “emouvoir” which means to excite.  As well as the Latin word “emovere” which means to move.  Your emotions serve to motivate you to take action (move) towards things that excite you.  Emotions also serve for you to take action in order to survive and thus keep yourself safe from danger.

Running from, not dealing with, or pushing your emotions away only makes them stronger and persistent in trying to get your attention.  It’s the adage,  whatever you resist, persists. Your emotions then control you, rather than you be in control of them.

Whilst it is important to take actions that build your self-esteem, it is also important to understand that the downside of the wave is an important time for you to undertake emotional spring cleaning.

When you seek to understand the reasons as to why the emotions are presenting themselves; by being compassionate and nurturing yourself you loosen their grip in order to achieve release and healing.

Ways to undertake emotional spring cleaning

  1. Acknowledge how you are feeling and what it is you are thinking or focusing on to make you feel that way.  Consider is this just a “story” you are telling yourself and what evidence do you have that it is a truth?  and/or what could be equally if not more so true
  2. Recognise what it is that you need right now and give that to yourself.  Is it loving words of support from  yourself?  Is it time in nature?  To go shopping and treat yourself?  To take time out and go to the beach or to read a good book?
  3. Grab a pen and paper and write.  Consider what event, situation, place or person the emotions relate to and allow the words to flow onto the page, getting raw and honest with  yourself.  How do you feel about what happened?  What has been left unresolved?  What was the impact?  What were the negatives?  and what were the positives (yes there will be some)?  and what are the insights you need to release and let it go?
  4. Find a nice patch of grass or sand and stand on it barefoot.  Connect in with the earth energy and imagine the negative emotions as well as anything that relate to them releasing from your body down through the soles of you feet into the core of the earth where this negativity will be transformed and transmuted.

When you can accept that your self-esteem will fluctuate and that this is normal, as well as be vulnerably brave to address and heal what you need to, you will find that  you have greater distance in between the fluctuations.

Kinesiology

Feeling great…How Kinesiology can still benefit you

Many of my clients will say “I’m feeling great, I don’t think I need to come” or “I’m not sure what we can work on”.  This is fantastic as it means Kinesiology is working for them!  However it also made me realise that there is a misconception that kinesiology is ONLY a healing modality.

Kinesiology is also a modality which you can use to be proactive to maintaining your great space.  To understand the reason kinesiology is also beneficial when you are feeling great, lets consider the history of and what kinesiology is.

Yet too it is important to understand that stress is wound into the body, kind of like a cork screw.  So when you have a balance only a certain amount of stress can be released and unwound in that time frame.  This means that when you go back to your every day, depending on how much stress you encounter AND the severity of that stress, additional stress could be  wound into your physical, mental or spiritual bodies.

What is kinesiology?

Kinesiology is an energy based modality which has a sound foundation in both Eastern and Western philosophies.   It is a modality which grew predominately in the 1960’s from the contribution of many brilliant men in the Chiropractic field.  Called Applied Kinesiology it was a system only used by those in the field.

In the 1970’s, based on Applied kinesiology, via a system called “Touch for Health” Kinesiology was brought the the “lay” person.  In the 1980’s  this system would be expanded upon to include aspects of Chinese Medicine which would see the more energetic form of Kinesiology be establised.

The word Kinesiology derives from the Greek word “kinesis” meaning movement and “kinein” meaning to move.  Therefore kinesiology could be seen as the science or branch of knowledge related to movement.

Being a modality based on both Western and Eastern philosophies such movement relates to all three aspects of our being:

  • physically / structurally;
  • mentally / emotionally;
  • nutritionally /chemically.

Eastern philosophies seeks movement, and flow, of the meridians, chakras and overall energy. A main philosophy is:  Bu tong ze tong, Tong ze bu tong, which translates: If there is no free flow, there is pain; if there is free flow, there is no pain.

Western philosophies seek movement in relation to the body’s physical motion (or lack of).  Yet movement also relates to the identifiable fluids in the body (lymphatic, blood, cerebrospinal, synovial, etc).

If you consider that Kinesiology was founded via the Chiropractic arm, one of Kinesiology’s main purposes is alignment.  Alignment in all aspects of who you are – physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually.

That leads to the question:   if you are feeling great, how does kinesiology benefit?

Benefits of Kinesiology

Kinesiology has many benefits, overall it activates your innate healing abilities for you to have balance.  Such balance enables you to have greater choices so you can achieve your optimal potential and abilities. 

Here are the reasons for seeing a kinesiologist when you feel great:

Manifesting / Law of Attraction

Kinesiologists do not treat, diagnose or prescribe, what we do is balance your energy system to ensure you are in alignment with what you want to achieve.  Therefore whilst you can be feeling great, you still can have blockages to attracting what you want.

For example one of my clients in her own words feels amazing.  She is confident, knows her self worth, is happy in herself, loves her job and says she is ready for a relationship.  However whilst she is consciously ready, unconsciously she is blocking herself from attracting a relationship.

Via kinesiology she is uncovering, addressing and balancing blocks that she was unaware of which were hindering her in attracting a relationship.

In order to manifest or attract what you want in life, firstly you need to clarify what it is you want and then you need to fully trust it will happen as well as ensure your energy is aligned at the same vibration.

At times when you feel great you will still find that you may not be attracting what you want OR  you are attracting people and situations that are less than ideal.  As your external world is a reflection of your internal one it is likely there is something unknown that needs to be addressed.

Time does not heal

After seeing one of my closest friends loose her father and due to our conversations, I have come to realise that time does NOT heal.  What helps and supports healing is having ways and techniques that you can draw upon as you move forward which makes life easier.

Also in my experiences with clients what helps are techniques which release the imbalance caused by the hurt, grief, anger, etc trapped in the cellular memory.

What this means is that whilst we can be feeling wonderful, if we have a memory or past incident trapped at the cellular memory it can be triggered by a situation, place or person.   Thus you can find yourself reacting without understanding the reason why.

It is better to address what is unconscious, and thus what is unknown to you, rather than to have it show up in a conscious matter which results in a crisis.

Maintaining your good space

Each day in many ways we interact with others as well as with information or situations.  Whether this be in person, via social media, internet or TV.  Therefore we are constantly being bombarded with information and energy.

As kinesiology works on the Triad of health, it is not only your mental health it is helping keep in balance.  It could also be your nutritional / chemical aspect is out of whack or your physical or structural being.

Kinesiology aids you to remain centred and aligned, to keep your energy optimally flowing for all three aspects.  Which can increase and strengthen your resilience therefore building your immunity to others energy and stresses. 

Due to the use of muscle testing, Kinesiology bypasses your cognisant thinking to identify factors in the subconscious, physical and energetic levels.   Therefore you could have unknown stress which could be being triggered or waiting to be triggered.  Therefore not only does kinesiology aim to help you to maintain how you are feeling, it could also enhance it.  It could also mean you are being proactive and release the stress before it becomes known.

 

Overall, even if you are feeling great, regularly kinesiology sessions ensure you are taking charge of your well-being rather than waiting until things have compounded to be problematic.  If you are overdue for a session or haven’t seen a kinesiologist you can use the link below to schedule a session with us.

http://www.theinnersageaustralia.com/appointments/

hindering

Are you hindering or sabotaging your healing

One of my driving forces is to get results for my clients.  It feeds my soul to know that, together, we are achieving the change they desire (plus more!).

I pleased to say that most of my clients get results, so when I have a client who is hindering or sabotaging their results it leads me to question the reason for this…as well as the solution.  Of which upper levelling is the key.

To understand upper levelling first lets consider the common denominators as to the reason people don’t heal are because they:

    1. are so associated with and defined by their “wounds” that they don’t know what life would be like without them.  To be without them means to change and for some that is fearful;
    2. sabotage their change and find reasons which keep them limited and within their comfort zone;
    3. aren’t releasing “stuff” on all three dimensions;
    1. have beliefs and expectations regarding healing that sabotages their progress; and
  1. are stuck in the “why” either trying to understand the reason <x> has happened or the reason why they are where they are at.

Woundology

The term “woundology” was coined by Caroline Myss to describe how  people define and created an identity via their wounds, whether those wounds be physical, emotional, or social. 

In her book, “Why people don’t heal and how they can” Caroline Myss writes that some people who want to heal “are striving to confront their wounds, valiantly working to bring meaning to terrible past experiences and traumas, and exercising compassionate understanding of others who share their wounds. But they are not healing. They have redefined their lives around their wounds and the process of accepting them. They are not working to get beyond their wounds. In fact, they are stuck in their wounds.”

Thus it is important for you to consider what your new identity would look, sound and feel like.  How do you want to redefine yourself?

Change Barrier

For many people whether they are trying to loose weight, manifest something or heal when making any form of change they reach a limit where they are faced with a block to their change.  Often this will show up as a plateau of some kind. 

This limit is the outer barrier of where your current comfort zone lies.   Whilst many desire to heal and make change they don’t have the tenacity and willpower to push through their limit and barriers.  Thus they will find ways to justify not continuing with the change work.

It is at this point where you are faced with a choice to either sabotage your change so you fall back into our comfort zone OR to push through the limit to make change.

Three Dimensions of healing

To have lasting change we must work on all three aspects of our being.  Humans are three dimensional beings, so it makes sense to use a modality which works on all three aspects, which is what Kinesiology does.  Most modalities are usually only one dimension and in some cases two.  This makes Kinesiology regarded as one of the truly holistic modalities.

A Kinesiologist believes in a methodology called the “triad of health”.  Which means that well being and health is dependent on the harmonious congruency and balance between a client’s Physical / Structural, Emotional / Mental and Nutritional / Chemical aspects.

hp-mainWhen one aspect of the triad of health is imbalanced, then it affects the other sides and therefore areas in our life.  For example a person who chronically worries (mental) may lose their appetite (nutrition is affected) or experience irregularities in their body (physical).

Beliefs

In many of my articles I refer to beliefs.  This is because they are such a driving force of our emotions and behaviours.  Simply put Beliefs are a self fulfilling prophecy.

What we believe creates an expectation of what is likely to happen, this influences our behaviours (as well as how we feel) and then creates the basis of what actions we do or don’t take. In turn the actions or activities that we are doing or not doing will be the result or outcome we achieve.

This means that if you want to change your results or your behaviours, you need be aware of your beliefs to ensure they support what you want to achieve and who you want to be.

Positive / empowering beliefs are permission slips for getting the outcomes you want.

Learn how to change you beliefs with our online course:  https://innersagisms.thinkific.com/courses/create-supportive-beliefs

The Why

Some get stuck in needing the know the why….the why they are the way they are; the why something happened to them.  Yet any sentence that begins with “why” is seeking justification not healing. 

If an unconscious person with a burst artery goes into emergency the doctors don’t stop to ask why did this happen, they simply move to apply the solution.  They don’t need to know the “why” to apply the healing.

Thus too, we can use the philosophy.  The why isn’t as important as the how.

Upper Levelling to change and heal

Upper levelling is when we push through our limits which is done using techniques that work on mind, body and spirit.   Yet as per Lao Tzu’s quote “A thousand mile journey begins with one step”. 

Be mindful that you might not achieve your desired change “overnight”, it also takes discipline and committed practice to achieve your healing goal.  Which is the first step, defining what it is you want to achieve.  

Once you know what you want to achieve and have a defined goal.  You then need to trust you can achieve this goal and take actions that align you to it.  Ensuring the actions you take are from a mental, physical and spiritual aspect.

Know that it is normal to feel vulnerable with any change.  When you are upper levelling be mindful that the closer you reach the barrier of your comfort zone, the likelihood you’ll feel this.    It is also important that when you reach here you keep moving forward, even if at a gentler pace.  

To move forward means you are taking consistent and authentic actions.  Such actions that extend your limits to elevate your self to a new level – a new way of being and thus making change.

One last thing….remember that any change, even if modest, is a move forward.

If you are still struggling with change and are interested in kinesiology you can book an appointment with us via:  http://www.theinnersageaustralia.com/appointments/

Alternatively we have designed a process which helps with resetting the emotions.  You can find the link to this at:  http://www.theinnersageaustralia.com/online-courses/

openness to receiving

Openness to receiving rather than allowing

Many healers, coaches and guides often speak about the concept of allowing things to happen, however recently during a meditation I was guided to having openness to receiving, rather than allowing myself to.  I wondered what is the difference, I mean fundamentally are they not the same thing?

Intuitively I can feel the difference between the two, logically I needed to understand what the difference is.  In looking at the definition of both words this becomes clearer as to the power of being open.

www.dictionary.com defines the word allowing as:  Allow, let, permit imply granting or conceding the right of someone to do something. Allow and permit are often interchangeable, but permit is the more positive. Allow implies complete absence of an attempt, or even an intent, to hinder.

Using the Macquarie Concise Dictionary the definition of openness as:  (a) an act or instance of making or becoming open. (b) an act or instance of beginning :commencement

The unseen forces of Spirit and Universal energy are subtle and thus they also give and receive messages in subtle ways.  This is why when you are making changes even slight ones they can have major results.

Thus when you engaged in the action of allowing, in fact you are already implying and giving a subtle indication that you have an intention to hinder.  It also gives a message that you are in control to grant you believe should be.

Recently a client of mine had been manifesting like crazy.  Via regular kinesiology balances she has raised, aligned and maintained her vibration to what she wanted to receive.  The she was being open and trusting what she wanted would happen.

And it was happening.   Things were flowing SO much that she became overwhelmed and triggered an unconscious program which sabotaged her.  Then, and very suddenly, the flow stopped.     Fundamentally she had closed herself off to having openness to receiving.

Basically openness to receiving means you let things flow and if they aren’t you remove the blocks.  This means firstly you need to know what it is that you want, so get specific.  Next surrender yourself to trust beyond any doubt then acknowledge and be grateful for what you do receive.

What often stops people from being open is an impeded flow of energy in their heart chakra and/or meridian.  As an organ our heart is responsible for pumping oxygenated blood through our system, thus providing oxygen and nutrients through out our physical body.  Studies have also shown that our heart emits more energy than our brain.  In fact it sends more messages to the brain than the brain does to the heart.  Thus a vital organ for many reasons.

Metaphysically the heart is considered as the Spiritual centre of the body.  It relates to love, acceptance, calm, peace, trust, forgiveness, radiate, free flowing and circulation.   When the heart energy is flowing a person has openness, is loving, they are engaging, it feels good to be around them, they are empowering and happy of others, they see the blessings and have acceptance of everything.

If the heart energy is blocked then a person can be fearful, condemning, frustrated, impatient, intolerant, distrusting, negative, dis-empowered and competitive.   They will focus on lack, complain and use negative wording.

Thus the best way to have openness to receiving is to ensure your heart energy is flowing and communicating.  Below is a process which enables you to have coherence and connection  in yourself as well as with the unseen energy and infinite energies and forces that surround you.

It is a process you can use daily to ensure you are generally open and vibrating, however you can also use it more specifically when you require additional support perhaps for making a decision, a meeting and/or for a presentation or less than easy discussion.

Be mindful that this is a process to connect in and open your heart energy.  Thus it is not a meditation.  You can do this process in five (5) minutes or you can choose to do it for fifteen (15).  Noting the more that you do mindfully d this process in the longer term the more automatic it will be that your heart energy is open and vibrating optimally.

Energetic Heart flow process

Take a deep breathe in and close your eyes, keeping them shut …. exhale.  Closing the door on the external world for the time you’ve allocated for this process.   Opening your self to be present moment of now.  Focusing on your breath, breathing in and out naturally.  Taking your breathe to any part of your body which is feeling tense and as you exhale, releasing that tension so you are free, right now to relax.

This time as you breathe in, take your breathe in deeper and hold it.  Then as you exhale, push all your breathe out, finding yourself sinking deeper into a relaxed state.

Bring the back of your hands together so that your fingers (on both hands) face towards you and bring your fingers in to touch the centre of your chest (in between your breasts at the same height as your nipples). In this area is an acupressure point known as the Sea of Tranquillity which helps to centre you and release any emotions which are being held on to.

It also supports your consciousness to know where you want your energy and attention to go to, which is from your external world to your internal one, specifically to your heart space. When we bring out consciousness to our heart space we strengthen the heart-brain connection, creating heart coherence.

The energy of our heart is love, compassion, trust, peace, appreciation, forgiveness and gratitude. So now turn your attention to see, feel or hear those things that make you happy. What, who or where lifts up your heart and makes you feel blissful?

It may be something, somewhere or someone you have recently come across, perhaps it is a memory or another time.

Now consider what, who or where makes you feel grateful or you have (or can have) appreciate of or for.

What, who or what do you love? and what is it specifically that you love?

What made you smile yesterday?  or over the last week?

Notice that as you keep thinking about things, people or places you love, make you happy and/or you are grateful for, how you start vibrating at a higher state and that you are being filled from head to toe with this vibration.

Continue to focus on all the things, people, places that make you happy.  That make you smile. Notice how you feel as you are filled with this heart energy.  Feel it emanating from you into the space around you, then filling up the room that you are sitting in.

Keep emanating this heart energy beyond the walls in which you sit.  Into the suburb in which you live, extending to the State and then Country where you are currently located.  Next radiating this energy to place in the world where it is needed most.

Knowing that as your heart energy radiates so too does your ability to attract all you desire, for you are coherent with the unseen forces and energy thus you are in the perfect vibration to be open to receive.

Now placing your hands in your lap, focus again on your breathing and be aware the noises that surround you, the furniture that you are sitting upon.  Feeling energised and aligned for your day, meeting or presentation ahead.

 

If you are, after doing this exercise, still finding yourself being blocked to openness then kinesiology may be for you.  Mention this article and you’ll receive a 10% discount.

You can schedule an appointment for kinesiology with us via: http://www.theinnersageaustralia.com/appointments/