Category Archives: Kinesiology

Integrating your Kinesiology or Reiki Session

The completion of your kinesiology or Reiki session, is the trigger for the integration of your healing. Your mind, body and spirit will need time, and or space, to attune with the healing and need to recalibrate with this new state of attunement / information / energy.

Just as each healing session should be tailored to what you need, so too will the integration process. Therefore integrating your healing session will also be unique experience which can differ from person to personas well as from session to session.

Typically I find there are one of three responses a client will have to their healing: They either feel:

blissful, light and elated (almost drunk like);
deeply relaxed, possibly tired; or
worse than when they came in!

Either feeling blissful and light or deeply relaxed and tired are the most common responses.

The bliss and light feeling is a response to the shift in your consciousness and to a perception that is aligned to your true nature and for your highest good. It is an indicator of your nervous system regulating and energy systems being congruent.

If you are feeling tired, it is most likely due to having been in a high adrenal mode and the body is now feeling safe, thus returning to a relaxed and recovery state. Tiredness is the body’s way of getting you to stop and to practice self care.

Feeling worse than when you came in is extremely rare, yet it is still a good indicator of a great session, it just doesn’t feel great. In my personal experience is usually because the mind, body or spirit needs to detox before the integration can happen.

No matter how you are responding to your healing session, there are actions you can take to help the integration and recalibration.

Tools for Integration

Mind

Consider turning off your phone, or muting it to non essential people, for 30 minutes after your session
Take time to journal after your session or to make note what is resonating with you most
Turn on your awareness – examine the world around you, and within you, with greater detail and appreciation
Seek gratitude in the challenges, how have they or are they advantageous
Use the 4-7-8 breathing technique. Breathe in for four, hold for seven and out for eight. Do three rounds. It helps to activate the vagus nerve which supports you in feeling safe and calm.
Use the Neuro Vascular point for the Lung – this is a point in kinesiology used to calm the mind and emotions as well as interrupt overthinking. It is located on the top of your head (in alignment with your ear). Hold it very lightly for 30 seconds

Body

Keep up your water! It will help you detox as well as carry nutrients and oxygen to your cells
Go for a gentle walk or sit in the sun
Have an Epson or Dead Sea salt bath or foot soak
Eat “live” food or have a green juice
Consider a gentle detoxer such as Citrus Pectin, Coriander or Atlantic Dulse
Use the Neuro Lymphatic point for the Liver – this is a point in kinesiology used to help detox especially energy that is stagnant or stuck. It is located under the RHS breast (between your 5th & 6th rib). Rub within the ribs, under the breast for 30 seconds.

Spirit

Light a candle, burn incense or diffuse frankincense or lavender oil
Write with the intention of burning whatever you write (you can also use water based pen and then run water over the paper or write on toilet paper and flush it). Its a great release technique
Go forest bathing – a couple of options in Sydney are Centennial Park or Cooper Park
Visualise waves of light moving through your energetic anatomy (auric fields, chakras, meridians, nadis), clearing and revitalising
Go to a park and swing on a swing
Visit The Inner Sage Instagram page and find three quotes that resonate with you most save them, share them or write them down and refer to them for seven days
Hold the Yin Tang point in the middle of your eyes. It is used to calm the spirit. Hold with slight pressure for 30 seconds

These tools are suggestions on how you can assist with integrating your healing session, especially kinesiology or reiki, and how to move through detoxing should it be happening. However if you are finding that your reaction to the healing isn’t shifting (such as tiredness, crying, emotional outbursts, feeling down), then please contact your practitioner for additional support.

Loving a person who has been emotionally wounded

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Loving a person who has been emotionally wounded is a less than easy task, it really does take someone special to see through their patterns and help them to trust others again. Wounded people are mostly sensitive, gentle souls who feel and love wholeheartedly, yet currently are feeling unsafe to do so again. Their wounds are carried deeply in their heart and they are typically expecting to be wounded again.

Noting, if you are being treated in an unacceptable and disrespectful manner (physically, emotionally &/or mentally), no matter how much you can see that they are intrinsically a good person, their wounds are not an excuse for you accepting bad behaviour. Unless the wounded person is remorseful for their behaviour and actively seeking support to resolve this, it is unlikely that they will change.

Mammals, including humans, are naturally wired to be somewhat on guard. Yet in order to allow intimacy this inner protection system needs to be disarmed by the brain. When social interactions are at a superficial level the wounded person will feel safe. So once the wounded person’s intimate relationship starts getting deeper they activate their alert system.

Emotional wounds are experienced both in the mind and the heart, increasing stress both mentally and physically. It can change the way a person thinks and feels. Emotional and physical pain are processed by the same areas of the brain, which is why heartbreak can feel like it is literally hurting. The medical name for the stress of a heartbreaking situation is Takotsubo Cardiomyopathy The symptoms are similar to that of a heart attack, yet unlike a heart attack there is no permanent damage.

Heart Coherence

Your heart emanates more energy than your brain, producing an electromagnetic field approximately one metre around your body. It is suggested that this field is a carrier of information.

Research shows at your emotional state will create a pattern of energy reflective of what that emotion is, which is then carried in the field emanating around you. In turn this pattern of energy influences your energy levels, the clarity of your thinking, boosts your immune system and orders your nervous system.

The emotionally wounded person has usually built walls around themselves and this emanates in their field. So they may not let you in, yet if they do they may not be letting you completely in. In order to become wholehearted it is ideal their healing incorporates all layers – physical, mental, emotional and energetic – which by the way kinesiology does!

At some stage the person who has been emotionally wounded loved unconditionally, they gave themselves entirely over to love and trusted in it. Only for that trust to be taken advantage of.

Their wounds will often be displayed by certain behaviours, actions and mindsets such as sarcasm, insecurity, fear, and a lack of trust – blaming, questioning, etc. Their own sense of self may be lost to them resulting in low self esteem. They won’t be able to see the reason you love them, because they can’t see it for themselves.

Techniques to support

At times it may feel like you are walking on eggshells around them, endeavouring not to trigger them by what you say or do. This is not healthy for you or for your partner. Its understanding the reason behind their trigger and having techniques or tools that support you, and them, in managing the situation.

It is not your job the heal the wounded person, however there are certainly things you can do to support them becoming and loving wholly again.

Trustworthiness

Always be honest and tell the truth, even if you think the truth will hurt them. Also be up front about things, again even if you think it won’t go down so well. A lie is a lie, and hiding information is considered a lie. No matter how small a lie is, it holds the same energy as a major one. The wounded person is on a more heightened alert and will typically pick up on the energy of the lie or you hiding something. Yet they will misread the energy and think it is something more, heightening their insecurity.

Most lies are often uncovered and such deception creates instability. It suggests to the wounded person that you cannot be trusted and that you will hurt them. Trust me, it is not worth it. It will also put them on “alert” to continually ask questions to make sure nothing more is being hidden.

When you are honest and upfront, this shows the wounded person that they can rely on you. That you are dependable and honourable. Which means for them that it is safe to be with you.

Reassurance

Most of all the wounded person needs reassurance. Reassurance that assists them to eliminate their doubts and fears. Unconsciously the wounded person may be seeking evidence that they are going to be wounded again. Also “creating” evidence in their minds to make their fears real.

Reassurance gives the wounded person a reference that what they fear or believe is not true. The more references they are the less that fear will come into play. Reassurance gives the wounded person confirmation that they are loveable. That you have their back. That you are not going anywhere and that they are safe.

Create a wholeheartedly safe space

To live wholeheartedly means living life from a place of worthiness. Wholeheartedly means that despite imperfections a person is worthy of love and belonging. That they are safe to be in the uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure of a relationship.

When you can contribute to creating a space where the broken person is taught that despite their shortcomings you still love them, they will begin to love themselves. You can also remind them what is lovable about them.

That whilst there is uncertainty and risk to focus on what is certain. Because what you focus on today will create more of tomorrow. Reinforce that you want the same things from the relationship. This helps create more certainty for them and gets them to change their focus.

You are strong, and brave, enough to help them navigate their emotions. Ask them open questions about how they are feeling (never start with “why”) to get them to name their emotion and what is driving it. Have suggestions on what they can do to dissolve the emotion such as journaling, going for a walk or meditating. Assist them in determining what that part of them that is experiencing the emotion needs right now.

Let the wounded person know how beautiful their vulnerability is and how much you value it. Show them that you honour their vulnerability and respect it via your own behaviours.

Remember the wounded person does not believe in them self and may question your sincerity. By being consistent in your positive words, actions and deeds you will create a wholehearted space that gives them a create references to believe.

Understand her Love Language

People express their love in one of five ways, this is known as the “Five Love Languages”. Not only do we express our love in a certain way, we also expect to be loved in this same way. Our love language is how we will gauge whether we are loved. Whilst we may use a combination of the love languages we primarily have one more prominent love language.

In a relationship we will usually have a different love language from our partner which often resulting in miscommunications of love. It can be like we are literally talking a different language.

According to Gary Chapman, who introduced the concept, by a slight margin the most common prominent love language is words of affirmation. This is based on the responses of 10,000 people who took the online quiz in December 2010. The full breakdown is:

Words of affirmation – 23%
Quality time – 20%
Acts of service – 20%
Physical touch – 19%
Receiving gifts – 18%

Here is the link to the official Love Languages website which has videos on the love languages as well as a quiz to determine your (and your partner’s love language). https://www.5lovelanguages.com/

6 Needs to feel Love

Men and women think, perceive, feel and appreciate differently. Which means they will respond differently in situations, especially in relationships and in being wounded.

When we understand the different needs our partner has, and by fulfilling those needs, we can help them to feel loved. When a person feels loved then they have the capacity and energy to love.

For men these needs are:

Trust – That he is doing his best and wants the best for his partner
Acceptance – By welcoming who he is (not trying to change him) and trust he will make his own improvements
Appreciation – Acknowledging the benefit you receive by his efforts and behaviours and showing you value those efforts
Admiration – Regard his with authentic awe and positive fascination (e.g. by asking his feedback and advice)
Approval – Recognise and look for the positive reasons behind what he does
Encouragement – Express confidence in his abilities and in who he is

For women they are:

Caring – Show interest in her feelings and her concern for her wellbeing
Understanding – Listen without judgement and allow her to be heard. Ask questions, don’t presume and don’t offer advice
Respect – Take your partner’s needs, wishes and desires into consideration. Remember important dates and rituals
Devotion – Remember to also make her a priority regularly. Make her feel adored and special
Validation – Confirm how she is feeling and validate that she has a right to feel that way, noting you can validate whilst feeling a different way
Reassurance – When you consistently care, understand, respect, devote and validate, you give reassurance that she is loved and will continue to be loved

Have Patience

Loving the wounded person will take time. They need to find that part of themselves that they lost in loving the “wrong” person. The wounded person needs need to build their self worth and realise they are enough. The need to feel secure and safe in order to trust in you.

The wounded person feels that they are too much to love and will unconsciously test this with you. At times you are likely to feel frustrated, which is understandable, yet find a way to dispel that frustration or do so gently with your partner.

To help you with having patience remember to take time for yourself so that you are “recharging your batteries”. Yet taking time also gives you space to have perspective on the behaviour/s. Remember people are NOT their behaviour/s.

Remind them

The wounded person will unconsciously be projecting others behaviours onto you, unknowingly making you responsible for what others did. Gently remind them how you are different, and with the actions you take (and don’t take) that show them that they are safe and loved. As well as the actions you don’t take

If appropriate, mention what it is you want from the relationship and that you are here for the long haul. Prompt them to acknowledge the connection that you have with them.

Loving the wounded person at times can seem too challenging and too much. At times they may seem to be too much to handle which can be frustrating. Some times this will be a test to see if you are really up for the challenge of loving them.

Whilst wounded people require more time, energy and patience and it will seem you are having to give a lot, know that once they feel and accept they are safe and secure, you will receive much more in return.

Remember there was a time when they loved unconditionally and had a lot to give, helping them reconnect with that part of them self means they will love fully again.

If you are feeling challenged by loving a wounded person, you may also need your own support. Consider kinesiology as an option to do this. For more information visit: http://www.theinnersageaustralia.com

Caring what people think about you? Brilliant!

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It seems to go against the norm to tell you that it is brilliant that you are caring what what people think (and say)about you. Most people would tell you not to care. However people who truly don’t care about others or their opinions are typically narcisstic or sociopathic, so yah for caring!!

However it is important to note that there is a difference between caring about what people think verses taking it on board.

Unless you fall under those two categories I believe it is impossible to not be caring about what others think. Because as humans we give meaning to things. Our brains are wired to perceive, in prehistoric times this is what kept us alive. However it is important to note that meaning doesn’t necessary equate to truth.

What you perceive someone else to be thinking about you, may not actually be true. If fact the opposite actually may be. Yet whether a person has said or thought something, or you have perceived them too, what matters more so is the weight and importance you give to it.

When you don’t have a sound sense of your own identity, then you won’t be able to love or accept yourself. And when you don’t love (or accept) yourself you are more susceptible to what others think. Therefore one of the keys to not taking on board what others think (or having perceptions of what they think) is knowing, loving and accepting yourself. It creates an armour to, and makes you less susceptible, to taking on board what others think.

Here are four principles to help protect you from onboarding:

Projection Defense Mechanism

In psychology there is a concept called “projection”. It is where a person unconsciously attributes their unwanted feelings, emotions and/or traits onto another person. It is easier for them to not like in you, what they don’t like in themselves, than to acknowledge or deal with it.

What this means is that when someone thinks (or says) something about you, they are really saying it about themselves.

Values discrepancies

Values are basically beliefs that guide your behaviours and attitudes. Your values influence how you view the world and what you consider as right or wrong. It is the gauge by which you determine the best action to take or best thing to do.

This means that when others give you their opinion of what is “right or wrong” or what action you should take, they have used the gauge they use for their own life, for you.

Life is not an “one size, fits all”. What works for one person, doesn’t necessarily work for another. What is right for one person, is not right for the next. When you are aware of this you can understand you simply have differing priorities and standards than someone else. Not right or wrong, not good or bad – just different.

Minimising

There is a wonderful saying by Madhu Vamsi, “You will never be criticized by someone who is doing more than you, you will only be criticised by someone doing less.” This was one of my most popular posts on social media, because of the truth in the words.

People who are succeeding want others to also. They feel good and solid within themselves and thus are not threatened by what someone else is doing (or wants to do). They have an abundance mindset and understand there is plenty for everyone and are happy to share. They work on the preface that everyone is equal and love seeing others elevated to feeling good about themselves.

On the other hand when someone wants to bring you down it is so they can feel good about themselves and what they aren’t doing. Because you succeeding or taking action highlights to them what they are not.

Opinions are Judgements

Bill Bullard said “Opinion is really the lowest form of human knowledge. It requires no accountability, no understanding.”

Most people who have an opinion on someone else typically never expect that person to hear what they have said, or they don’t expect the person to stand up for themselves. Nor has the opinionated person typically asked questions to gain understanding or knowledge. They have passed judgement based on what they believe to be fact, typically refuting facts.

Caring about what others think means that you are a considerate and kind person. The relationships you have with others is important to you. It is also an indicator that you need to nurture the relationship you have with yourself and to bring the focus back to yourself to build your own self love and esteem.

If you are struggling and need additional help please consider having a one on one session. Visit www.theinnersageaustralia.com

Self worth ~ The foundation of empowerment

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The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines self worth as ” a sense of one’s own value as a human being”. It is interesting that this definition defines self worth on how a person sees themselves when in reality many people base their self worth on how they perceive others see them and/or how others treat them.

Whilst self worth is an internal “job” only you can decide if you are worthy or not. Often we have internalised other peoples perceptions and judgements to become our own. When this happens we’ve just made someone else an authority on ourselves. When we’ve made them an authority we’ve basically said they know us better than we know ourselves.

Once those perceptions and judgements have been taken on board we’ve then given them “references” or connected them so strong with emotion that they become our truth and our beliefs about ourselves. Beliefs about who we are, our beliefs as to what we do and don’t deserve and what we will and won’t accept.

Most of our belief and neurological patterns occur from the ages of two to seven. At a time when we were unable to question what we were told, and when our parents are the most significant role models we have. Therefore the words they use (or don’t use), the actions they take (or don’t take), their reactions and non- reactions, all of which are teaching us and giving us conscious and unconscious messaging.

We then interact with the world by connecting with family, going to daycare, then school or even watching television. All of which we discover other significant role models, who also can have a strong influence on us. Reinforcing our beliefs or supplement our beliefs by giving us new ones.

All of which is at an age when we did not have the necessary tools, nor resources to test the truisms of what we told, taught or shown.

Whilst beliefs can be created from various other sources, it is primarily significant people to whom we consciously or unconsciously give authority to regarding our self worth.

As a child or teenager it is understandable that we consider significant people in our lives as an authority ~ because they usually do have a role to discipline, decide what is right for us and give us orders. Yet as we grow into adulthood we don’t realise that we are most likely continuing to give their voice a platform.

As we mature we bring others into our lives in the form of friends and partners. People who whom we hold in strong regard and thus can have a strong influence on us and thus whom may impact our worthiness or lack thereof.

I recall in college an English teacher who told me that my writing was no good. As she was my teacher, an authority figure, I believed her. The way she also gave me this feedback, it seemed to me, that I would never be any good at it.

However I love writing. I love the creation aspect of it and it is something that gives me joy. It is something that when I am in the flow, I do so with ease. However what I realised was there was a block to me writing, instead I’d find other activities that “needed” doing.

Whilst it could be said I was procrastinating, it actually was this teacher’s words unconsciously playing in the background. Because whenever I went to write I became aware I was doubting the quality of my writing and whether any one would want to read it.

Another example of where my worth was dependant on a “significant other” was an ex-boyfriend who cheated several times during our relationship. I took his cheating as a sign that there was something wrong with me for him to do that.

In order to build your self worth you need to have awareness. Awareness of who are the significant other/s to whom you have, or are, giving a platform to. A platform for their voice and/or behaviours to mean more than your own.

The next step is consciously to take your power back from them. This is done by our “Calling your Spirit back” meditation ( http://innersagisms.thinkific.com/courses/calling-your-spirit-back-audio ).

Alternatively you can take your power back by knowing you have choice as to what you do and don’t listen to. I do this by simply saying to myself “I choose not to listen to those words any longer. I choose to listen to my own”.

You can also take your power back by re-framing what you made their actions or words mean. Re-framing is a method used to look at things from a different perspective to view a person, experience or situation in a more empowering way.

Taking the example of the teacher. As soon as I realised her words were playing in the background, I made a choice to no longer allow them to. I also re-framed this by understanding that what I wrote didn’t mean her expectations. Whilst it could have possibly needed work, it didn’t mean what I wrote was all “bad”.

Also in the example of the ex-boyfriend. We had chosen to be in a committed relationship and he didn’t maintain our agreement. It had nothing to do with me, it was about his choices. I stopped making his actions about me and instead identified his actions as reflective of him.

Significant others can trigger the creation of a belief about yourself and your worth, however you will have been seeking out references to support that belief. To help release these references you want to question their validity yet also seek out references where the opposite is true.

Using the example of the teacher, such alternative references are the many clients who’ve told me how much they love my articles and how much they help them. I’ve also been approached by publications asking me if they can use my articles. Other references are the articles which have been published.

The more references you seek out that reflect your self worth then the stronger that belief will be. The less you engage in sabotaging patterns and behaviours, the more your self worth will increase.

Your worth is within you. Stop giving others the power to affect how you feel about your self. Go within and from inside out build your own worth. Be your authority on who you are and the value you bring. Do this by knowing yourself – knowing who you are and loving all of that; knowing you are not and loving all of that also!

Understanding the process and sequence of healing

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Being on my own healing journey, as well as supporting others on their own, I’ve often wondered what is the reason healing doesn’t happen, per say, overnight. Why, despite all the work done to release an issue, that it either so much time and effort to be healed. Can reappear in other ways or not be 100% released. What is the reason it usually takes several sessions of healing related to the same issue before we are liberated from it. Seeking to understand the process of healing.

The common analogy used to describe the healing process is the layers of an onion. As in with an onion when you keep peeling the layers back you get to the core. That too with healing as you peel back a layer, which in healing involves having acceptance of what is and what has been, letting go and integrating the lesson, you get to the core matter and healing is able to occur.

So whilst I believe this to be somewhat true of healing I don’t believe it is the best analogy to explain the reason healing takes time and/or the healing process.

Recently I saw this saying “Healing unfolds in its own time; it doesn’t look to a calendar or clock for direction” (unknown). After having worked on several aspects of an issue, I personally came to understand that in divine timing the healing just falls into place. Just like <snap of the fingers> that. Similar to how a mechanical puzzle works. In that all the parts are interlinked and once the parts are in the right place the puzzle becomes whole and/or unlocks.

Each healing session can be considered as interlinked parts of the puzzle / greater picture. Knowing that each and every session has its own merit because it is critical to uncovering information required for the process of healing. And as with a combination lock once all the parts of the code are obtained, in the right and correct order, healing occurs to be the new way of being.

The trauma, grief, pain, etc that occurs from people; situations; places; things fundamentally creates stress. That stress winds into the body and we hold it mentally; emotionally; spiritually; physically and/or chemically. Hence the reason it is important to have a modality (yes such as kinesiology) which helps unwind such stress from all aspects of who we are ~ mind; body and spirit.

Once stress is unwound from the body we then need to process it in order to release it as well as integrate the benefit thereof. Sometimes that process can be very gentle however at times a person can have an adverse reaction to healing. Which means their processing can be emotionally overwhelming. The processing can be draining or they can have physical detoxing symptoms.

If healing one aspect of an issue can have such an impact, imagine what healing the whole matter in one go would have on a person. The processing would be extreme and too overwhelming for a person to move through. Resulting in the healing having an opposing effect.

Thus it is highly unlikely the person’s physical; mental; emotional systems could cope with such an overload of healing. Resulting in likely burn out and them simply giving up or retreating from the world. This being a main reason we don’t heal major issues in one session.

The process of how stress winds into our body and with healing how it is unwound out is very similar to the Fibonacci sequence / Golden Ratio / Sacred Geometry. All of which are principles that describe the inner workings of nature and the Universe.

These principles provide order to that which seems chaotic. Indicating there is an intelligent design and blueprint in all that exists. That there is no random way to which we grow.

In nature we easily find these unfolding patterns and spirals; as in plants, shells, flowers and weather patterns. The same natural patterns are found in the human body, such as our brainwaves, DNA and structures. When you look at the cross cut of DNA it looks like a flower and the golden ratio pattern is easily seen.

When we apply this principle to healing we understand there is a natural pattern and progression which needs to unfold in order for us to have growth and evolution. As with the Fibonacci sequence (Golden Ratio, Sacred Geometry) each session of healing combines with the previous one to provide the structure and foundation for the next stage.

Meaning that the healing occurs in alignment with the universal order of nature, so too we follow the pattern for natural evolution to achieve universal and natural order within ourselves.

By accepting there is a natural order to healing, a process of healing, we more easily allow for the uncovering and alignment of the code. Such code which as with the combination lock analogy when in the right place and order gives us the key for healing to be activated. We calibrate and align with the higher aspect of who we are to live with bliss, empowerment and ease!

If after trying these techniques you are still struggling with your healing process then consider scheduling an appointment for kinesiology. You can book an appointment with us via: http://www.theinnersageaustralia.com/appointments/

Grieving – How time does not heal wounds

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Grief is an emotion which is not only attributed to someone dying. In fact it is associated with any change and adjustment, particularly those of a major and/or emotional nature.

When a person is experiencing grief typically those around them (friends, family, associates) are unsure of how to brooch the topic, uncertain of what to say, or what do. One statement which is typically used is that “time heals all wounds”.

However after working with many clients and seeing close friends experience grief I disagree with this popular adage. To believe that time does not heal your wounds. Rose Kennedy was quoted: “It has been said, ‘time heals all wounds.’ I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens, but it is never gone.”

Molecules of Emotion

Dr Candace Pert PhD, neuropharmacologist, stated: “A feeling sparked in our mind-or body-will translate as a peptide being released somewhere. [Organs, tissues, skin, muscle and endocrine glands], they all have peptide receptors on them and can access and store emotional information. This means the emotional memory is stored in many places in the body, not just or even primarily, in the brain. You can access emotional memory anywhere in the peptide/receptor network, in any number of ways. I think unexpressed emotions are literally lodged in the body. The real true emotions that need to be expressed are in the body, trying to move up and be expressed and thereby integrated, made whole, and healed.”

Time can either do one of two things;

push the painful emotions and memories down to keep them at bay so they are not fresh in your conscious mind; or
gives you the opportunity to discover techniques which makes it easier to navigate your wounds, grief and pain.

Which means those who are electing for option 1 (above) will simply store the emotions, replaying and duplicating their grief within the coding of their cells. Such information / wounding festers waiting for the “right” opportunity to bubble to the surface, which typically is at an inopportune moment.

Ultimately allowing time to heal the wound is a dis-empowering and unhealthy option. The emotions need to be expressed in order to be released. In having awareness of what the emotion is, we can name the emotion and therefore explore the emotion. This is how we move forward.

Navigating Grief

There are various techniques (see below) which can help a person to navigate grief. Yet the first step is understanding the stages of grief. Through her extensive research Elizabeth Kúbler-Ross, a Swiss-American psychiatrist and pioneer in near-death studies, determined the Five Stages of Grief, which are:

Denial

Denial is a conscious or unconscious to not being willing to accept the situation where the person can isolate themselves due to their refusal of the situation. It can be due to their disbelief that the situation is happening and tends to be a defence mechanism which is masking the person’s shock of the situation.

Anger

A person will use anger as an emotion to deflect from their vulnerability of the situation and it can manifest in various ways. They can be angry at themselves, at those close to them or those who were involved in the situation. Endeavouring to be non-judgement with those in this stage of grief and remaining detached can assist both, all, parties.

Bargaining

This is where the person yearns for what has been lost and is categorised by the “if only” or “what if” statements. It’s where we want the situation to return to what we knew it to be, to be able to go back in time and do something different so a positive outcome happens. Guilt is often an emotion experienced in this stage, as the person thinks of what they could have done and feel guilty for not having done it.

Depression

Here the person is preparing to bid farewell and is an indicator that the person has begun to accept the reality of the situation. It can be described as acceptance with emotional attachment and it is natural for the person to experience feelings of sadness and regret, fear and uncertainty.

Acceptance

Usually this stage is marked by a calmness and acknowledgement of the situation, recognising that this is their reality and thus now living with the permanence of the change. The person has re-adjusted to life as they now know it and are allowing themselves to make new connections and to enjoy life again.

Grief is a very personal thing and everyone grieves differently. The stages do not necessary occur in a specific order, nor is there a time limit or potency set for each stage. Also it is possible for a person to experience a stage more than once.

Tools for navigation grief

Kinesiology

Being a kinesiologist, I think it natural for this to be my number one suggestion for moving through grief. The main reason being because it’s NOT a one size fits all solution. Rather a kinesiology session is personalised to the individual as a kinesiologist uses the client’s own innate wisdom as to what is needed to shift and move through their grief.

Via muscle testing, a kinesiologist seeks the underlying emotion which is causing the imbalance or blockage of energy flow. Therefore sometimes it actually isn’t the emotion that you logically think it is. As mentioned previously when you can name the emotion (correctly) you are able to explore and process through it.

More information can be found about kinesiology via: What is Kinesiology?

Write & Burn

Scientific evidence shows that when a person writes they are accessing both aspects of their brain. The physical act of writing accesses our analytical and rational left brain as well as engages our creative, intuitive, feeling right brain.

By engaging both hemispheres we increase our innovation, meaning we are able to transform and transcend situations. James Pennebaker, a professor at the University of Texas undertook over forty years of research as to how journalling helped the individual to process significant emotional experiences. His researched demonstrated that by spending 20 minutes per day journalling participants experienced significant improvements physically and mentally.

Unlike journalling, the concept of writing and burning is that whatever you are about to write you will not be keeping. What I like about this is that when we know we aren’t going to keep it , and thus no one will ever see what we have written, we tend to get more honest on the page.

In addition to this the act of burning the page/s is symbolic and ritualistic. It takes the written page and transforms it into ash, something the earth can re-cycle for a positive purpose.

Make time for Silence

Research shows that silence has many positive benefits. Silence can be meditation however is not limited to that. Silence can simply be spending time on your own without distractions.

Benefits of silence is:

It helps the hippocampus to grow new brain cells. The hippocampus is an important part of the Lymbic system and is involved in the formation, organisation and storage of memories. It is also involved with learning and the formation of emotions.

Silence works to balance our left and right brains, which results in whole brain synchronisation. Thus neither our emotions or logic overwhelm the other. This assists the brain in the sorting of information, enabling us to gather and process information.

The positive impact to important body and brain chemicals. Such as Melatonin; known as the “sleep molecule”. It is known to is known to inhibit cancer, strengthen the immune system and slow down the ageing process.

Serotonin; known as the “happy” neurotransmitter because it has a profound impact on our moods. It is also thought to help regulate mood and social behaviour, appetite and digestion, sleep, memory, and sexual desire and function.

GABA; is known as the “calm chemical” as it helps to control fear and anxiety. It sends chemical messages throughout the brain and the nervous system and plays an important role in behaviour, perception, awareness, comprehension as well as how the body response to stress.

DHEA; which is known as the “longevity molecule” as it counteracts cortisol. It also helps lower depression, sadness and irritability. It helps increase our ability to deal with stress and reduces worrying. It also helps increase motivation and energy levels.

Endorphins; the “natural high” hormone. As they interact with the opiate receptors in the brain to reduce our perception of pain, similar to how morphine and codeine work.

Growth Hormone which sustains our tissues and organs, helping keeping them “youthful”.

Cortisol, which is one of the major stress hormones, is reduced. Too much can wears down the body (and brain). Destroying healthy muscle and bone, blocking the creation of good hormones. It can create anxiety, depression, increased blood pressure, brain fog, insomnia and inflammation.

If after trying these techniques you are still struggling with processing through your grief then consider scheduling an appointment for kinesiology. You can book an appointment with us via: http://www.theinnersageaustralia.com/appointments/

How all your choices are supporting you

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Are you aware that ALL your choices, whether they are empowering or disempowering choices are actually supporting you?

To make a choice is the act of choosing between two (or more) alternatives. Choice then gives you possibilities of an outcome.

So when you make a choice you are simply deciding what is best for yourself in that given moment. However it could be in that given moment, you are inadvertently supporting an aspect of yourself which isn’t in aligned with your long term goals / outcome you desire or what is really important to you.

For example lately I’ve been choosing to watch Orange is the New Black (a TV show on Netflix). This choice isn’t a “bad” choice as it has supported me by having balance by giving me some down time.

However by making this choice I’ve also been able to avoid writing and thus “supporting” myself by not having to address a fear I have around writing. At the time I didn’t realise that the less than great choice (to watch TV) was actually supporting my fear.

This is true for many people, they are often making choices not have awareness of their known or unknown motivation behind the choices they are making.

Ideally you want to become aware of the unconscious (or conscious) patterns that are impeding or sabotaging you from what you want, kinesiology is one effective way to do this. As kinesiology bypasses the conscious mind using your innate wisdom to increase your awareness and thus expands the choices available to you to make.

It is also important to know that at times your choices will be made from habitual actions due to the neural pathways which have been reinforced and thus ingrained to become an automatic choice. Which means you will usually have limited awareness until after the fact.

When we have greater awareness around our choices, we also have a great capacity to take responsibility and accountability for them. Thus enabling us to create new and empowering neural pathways that lead us to make more suitable choices which long term become the new norm.

Increasing awareness of your choices

Goals: Are a key tool which enable your inner navigation system. They give you direction as to what you it is you want to achieve. Your goals can also be a benchmark by which you can gauge your choices, determining they are (or aren’t) in alignment with what you really want. Read more on goals: http://www.theinnersageaustralia.com/2016/11/06/goals-ignite-your-inner-navigation/

Self Awareness: The key to making empowering choices is awareness. When you are aware of what is driving your choice, whether it be an emotion, mood or re-action, then you have choice as to how you want to act and be. Without awareness you are operating from a habitual nature.
At the end of the day reflect the choices that you have made. What was each choice supporting specifically? Were they empowering or disempowering? How did you feel at the time you made that choice? What were you thinking about? What would help you to make different choices?

Journalling: Writing is a great way to get out of our heads as such and step out from the problem / situation and to see it from another perspective. Also journalling allows you to get raw and honest with yourself, which means you can acknowledge how the current choices are impeding you. Understand more about journalling with our article: http://www.theinnersageaustralia.com/2016/04/20/journalling-a-tool-to-aid-healing/

Often people beat themselves up for making “wrong” choices, however ultimately a choice is just that, a choice. There is no right or wrong choice, as every choice is supporting you.

However if you feel you’ve made a less than great choice, one which doesn’t support you, then just make another choice that does.

Riding the Self-Esteem Wave

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Self-esteem is how you overall feel about your self. It does encompass your the value you have for yourself as well as your self-worth. Contradictory to what we have been led to believe, our self-esteem is not a stagnant way of being. In fact most people, especially women, experience fluctuations with their self-esteem.

Consider it to fluctuate like the ocean wave. When you are on the upside of the fluctuation, you feel confident, ready to take on the world; loving who you are, easily seeing your own worth and value. However when on the downside of the wave you will second guess yourself, having doubt and being overly critical of your self.

Such ups and downs are normal, in fact they are considered as essential as long as you manage them effectively. Dualities are every where around you; life in itself is with the duality of death. In fact dualities are everywhere, cannot exist without the other. The Yin/Yang symbol is one reminder of this. That dualities which are seemingly opposite or contrary are actually complementary and interconnected. Thus dualities ~ such as the ups and downs ~ are required to be whole.

The more acceptance you have that your self-esteem will fluctuate, as well as understanding it is normal, the more likely you are to minimise the depth and frequency of such “waves”. When you can “ride the wave” you are able to allow flow and surrender. It is in such surrender that flow naturally occurs as does synchronicity.

It is important to know and accept that when you are on the downside of the fluctuation (wave) this is when your negative emotions, baggage, “stuff”, things you’ve not dealt with are more likely to present.

What exactly are your emotions? “An emotion is a complex psychological state that involves three distinct components: a subjective experience, a physiological response, and a behavioural or expressive response.” (Hockenbury & Hockenbury, 2007).

The word emotion originates from the French word “emouvoir” which means to excite. As well as the Latin word “emovere” which means to move. Your emotions serve to motivate you to take action (move) towards things that excite you. Emotions also serve for you to take action in order to survive and thus keep yourself safe from danger.

Running from, not dealing with, or pushing your emotions away only makes them stronger and persistent in trying to get your attention. It’s the adage, whatever you resist, persists. Your emotions then control you, rather than you be in control of them.

Whilst it is important to take actions that build your self-esteem, it is also important to understand that the downside of the wave is an important time for you to undertake emotional spring cleaning.

When you seek to understand the reasons as to why the emotions are presenting themselves; by being compassionate and nurturing yourself you loosen their grip in order to achieve release and healing.

Ways to undertake emotional spring cleaning

Acknowledge how you are feeling and what it is you are thinking or focusing on to make you feel that way. Consider is this just a “story” you are telling yourself and what evidence do you have that it is a truth? and/or what could be equally if not more so true
Recognise what it is that you need right now and give that to yourself. Is it loving words of support from yourself? Is it time in nature? To go shopping and treat yourself? To take time out and go to the beach or to read a good book?
Grab a pen and paper and write. Consider what event, situation, place or person the emotions relate to and allow the words to flow onto the page, getting raw and honest with yourself. How do you feel about what happened? What has been left unresolved? What was the impact? What were the negatives? and what were the positives (yes there will be some)? and what are the insights you need to release and let it go?
Find a nice patch of grass or sand and stand on it barefoot. Connect in with the earth energy and imagine the negative emotions as well as anything that relate to them releasing from your body down through the soles of you feet into the core of the earth where this negativity will be transformed and transmuted.

When you can accept that your self-esteem will fluctuate and that this is normal, as well as be vulnerably brave to address and heal what you need to, you will find that you have greater distance in between the fluctuations.

Feeling great? Understand why Kinesiology will still benefit you

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When you are feeling great it is really interesting just how kinesiology will still benefit you and in some cases even more so. Many of my clients will say “I’m feeling great, I don’t think I need to come” or “I’m not sure what we can work on”. This is music to my ears as 1. it means Kinesiology is working for them and 2. now we can work in a very difference space.

However, it also made me realise that there is a misconception that kinesiology is ONLY a healing modality.

When you have “stuff” (a technical healing term) to work on you will be in a space where you are treating and remedying the issue/s. Including the manifestations and symptoms of those issues e.g. anxiety.

At the initial stage of kinesiology, for most people, they are staying in their “stuff”, having gotten stuck in it and/or in the symptomology of the issue. Whilst at some level you will need to go into the problem, the focus of kinesiology is to move you through it.

Once this foundation has been built, and reinforced, you will start to be feeling much better. You’ll find you are aligned to the intention that was set for your sessions. This doesn’t mean that you won’t be affected by life and it’s stressors. Nor does it mean you won’t experience moments of emotions. People, situations and events may shake the foundation. This is why at the very least it is important to keep up maintenance sessions every three to six months.

Transcendental Balancing

However when you sustain a regular kinesiology program then your sessions becomes even more alchemistic. You are able to come into a place of being where you thrive and build on what is good. You tend to become more resilient to life stressors and you now are able to flourish.

This transcendental balancing aligns and connects you with your potential, supporting you to actualise it. You are able to navigate life with higher executive cognitive functioning which enables your working memory, flexible thinking, and self-control. You also become more positively disposed.

Kinesiology as a self development tool

Albert Einstein was reported to have said, “Once you stop learning, you start dying”. I believe this can also be applied to self development. In fact, neuroscience has shown that if the brain is not being used, like a muscle, it atrophies (wastes away).

Kinesiology certainly doesn’t make self development redundant, however it does support self development as it can uncover what you cannot. Most times people are not aware of the program that is influencing them or where that program originated. Kinesiology provides a framework for being able to uncover this.

Triad of Life

Kinesiology is a truly holistic modality as it works on the triad of health concept. The triad of health is that you are not just your body; nor just your mind; nor just spiritual. You are a combination of all three.

That the foundation for health is for all aspects of you to be in balance. If not, the aspect which is out of balance will impact the other two.

The triad of health is represented in all aspects of life, not just health. Therefore if you are only working on one aspect of personal development, then holistic development is not being achieved.

Personal development is mind; body and spirit. Whilst you can achieve this by undertaking a combination of various modalities and exercises, kinesiology certainly covers all three at the same time!

The more I work with kinesiology, the more I learn from my clients. One in particular has taught me the influence of regular kinesiology sessions – even when you feel great. He has shown me how building on what is already great, enhances it. As well as the fortitude to manage people, situations and events. He truly lives from an empowered state and the regular session support him in maintaining and enhancing it.

Overall, even if you are feeling great, regularly kinesiology sessions ensure you are taking charge of your well-being. Rather than waiting until things have compounded to be problematic.

If you are overdue for a session or haven’t seen a kinesiologist you can use the link below to schedule a session with us.

http://www.theinnersageaustralia.com/appointments/

Reasons people hinder or sabotage their healing

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It had made me wonder what is the reasons people would hinder or sabotage their healing, especially when they invest time and money to do so. It just didn’t make sense when I had clients who despite their strong desire for change, remained in their “wounds”.

The reason people will hinder their healing is due to a few factors, however the main reason is the most potent. Which is when a person is overly associated with their wound, or idea of them self with that pattern of behaviour, that they don’t know who they are without it. Which means they don’t know what life would be like without it. This in itself creates fear.

At a deeper unconscious level to be in that pattern or wound provides them with a sense of safety, because they know how to do life with it. They have a clear idea of who they are with it.

To not do so, have a sense of uncertainty which can at times be destabilising One of my driving forces is to get results for my clients. It feeds my soul to know that, together, we are achieving the change they desire (plus more!).

I pleased to say that most of my clients get results, so when I have a client who is hindering or sabotaging their results it leads me to question the reason for this…as well as the solution. Of which upper levelling is the key.

To understand upper levelling first lets consider the common denominators as to the reason people don’t heal are because they:

1. due to the association with their wounds the change they desire is too fearful and they have no vision as to who they are or what life is without them;
2. sabotage their change and find reasons which keep them limited and within their comfort zone;
3. aren’t releasing “stuff” on all three dimensions;
4. have beliefs and expectations regarding healing that sabotages their progress; and
5. are stuck in the “why” either trying to understand the reason <x> has happened or the reason why they are where they are at.

Woundology

The term “woundology” was coined by Caroline Myss to describe how people define and created an identity via their wounds, whether those wounds be physical, emotional, or social.

In her book, “Why people don’t heal and how they can” Caroline Myss writes that some people who want to heal “are striving to confront their wounds, valiantly working to bring meaning to terrible past experiences and traumas, and exercising compassionate understanding of others who share their wounds. But they are not healing. They have redefined their lives around their wounds and the process of accepting them. They are not working to get beyond their wounds. In fact, they are stuck in their wounds.”

The first and most important step for change is to get a clear image of who you are without the pattern of behaviour / wound. Consider how you would look with that new aspect of you. How would you act or respond to people, life, situations? what would speak about and focus on? How do you sound? How would you feel within yourself?

Change Barrier

For many people whether they are trying to loose weight, manifest something or heal when making any form of change they reach a limit where they are faced with a block to their change. Often this will show up as a plateau of some kind.

This limit is the outer barrier of where your current comfort zone lies. Whilst many desire to heal and make change they don’t have the tenacity and willpower to push through their limit and barriers. Thus they will find ways to justify not continuing with the change work.

It is at this point where you are faced with a choice to either sabotage your change so you fall back into our comfort zone OR to expand your comfort zone that makes change safe.

Three Dimensions of healing

To have lasting change we must work on all three aspects of our being. Humans are three dimensional beings, so it makes sense to use a modality which works on all three aspects, which is what Kinesiology does. Most modalities are usually only one dimension and in some cases two. This makes Kinesiology regarded as one of the truly holistic modalities.

A Kinesiologist believes in a methodology called the “triad of health”. Which means that well being and health is dependent on the harmonious congruency and balance between a client’s Physical / Structural, Emotional / Mental and Nutritional / Chemical aspects.

When one aspect of the triad of health is imbalanced, then it affects the other sides and therefore areas in our life. For example a person who chronically worries (mental) may lose their appetite (nutrition is affected) or experience irregularities in their body (physical).

Beliefs

In many of my articles I refer to beliefs. This is because they are such a driving force of our emotions and behaviours. Simply put Beliefs are a self fulfilling prophecy.

What we believe creates an expectation of what is likely to happen, this influences our behaviours (as well as how we feel) and then creates the basis of what actions we do or don’t take. In turn the actions or activities that we are doing or not doing will be the result or outcome we achieve.

This means that if you want to change your results or your behaviours, you need be aware of your beliefs to ensure they support what you want to achieve and who you want to be.

Positive / empowering beliefs are permission slips for getting the outcomes you want.

Learn how to change you beliefs with our online course: https://innersagisms.thinkific.com/courses/create-supportive-beliefs

The Why

Some get stuck in needing the know the why….the why they are the way they are; the why something happened to them. Yet any sentence that begins with “why” is seeking justification not healing.

If an unconscious person with a burst artery goes into emergency the doctors don’t stop to ask why did this happen, they simply move to apply the solution. They don’t need to know the “why” to apply the healing.

Thus too, we can use the philosophy. The why isn’t as important as the how.

Upper Levelling to change and heal

Upper levelling is when we push through our limits which is done using techniques that work on mind, body and spirit. Yet as per Lao Tzu’s quote “A thousand mile journey begins with one step”.

Be mindful that you might not achieve your desired change “overnight”, it also takes discipline and committed practice to achieve your healing goal. Which is the first step, defining what it is you want to achieve.

Once you know what you want to achieve and have a defined goal. You then need to trust you can achieve this goal and take actions that align you to it. Ensuring the actions you take are from a mental, physical and spiritual aspect.

Know that it is normal to feel vulnerable with any change. When you are upper levelling be mindful that the closer you reach the barrier of your comfort zone, the likelihood you’ll feel this. It is also important that when you reach here you keep moving forward, even if at a gentler pace.

To move forward means you are taking consistent and authentic actions. Such actions that extend your limits to elevate your self to a new level – a new way of being and thus making change.

One last thing….remember that any change, even if modest, is a move forward.

Keeping these in mind, a kinesiology balance can assist you. If you want to book an appointment you can do so via: http://www.theinnersageaustralia.com/appointments/