Category Archives: Spiritual

Caring what people think about you? Brilliant!

It seems to go against the norm to tell you that it is brilliant that you are caring what what people think (and say)about you. Most people would tell you not to care. However people who truly don’t care about others or their opinions are typically narcisstic or sociopathic, so yah for caring!!

However it is important to note that there is a difference between caring about what people think verses taking it on board.

Unless you fall under those two categories I believe it is impossible to not be caring about what others think. Because as humans we give meaning to things. Our brains are wired to perceive, in prehistoric times this is what kept us alive. However it is important to note that meaning doesn’t necessary equate to truth.

What you perceive someone else to be thinking about you, may not actually be true. If fact the opposite actually may be. Yet whether a person has said or thought something, or you have perceived them too, what matters more so is the weight and importance you give to it.

When you don’t have a sound sense of your own identity, then you won’t be able to love or accept yourself. And when you don’t love (or accept) yourself you are more susceptible to what others think. Therefore one of the keys to not taking on board what others think (or having perceptions of what they think) is knowing, loving and accepting yourself. It creates an armour to, and makes you less susceptible, to taking on board what others think.

Here are four principles to help protect you from onboarding:

Projection Defense Mechanism

In psychology there is a concept called “projection”. It is where a person unconsciously attributes their unwanted feelings, emotions and/or traits onto another person. It is easier for them to not like in you, what they don’t like in themselves, than to acknowledge or deal with it.

What this means is that when someone thinks (or says) something about you, they are really saying it about themselves.

Values discrepancies

Values are basically beliefs that guide your behaviours and attitudes. Your values influence how you view the world and what you consider as right or wrong. It is the gauge by which you determine the best action to take or best thing to do.

This means that when others give you their opinion of what is “right or wrong” or what action you should take, they have used the gauge they use for their own life, for you.

Life is not an “one size, fits all”. What works for one person, doesn’t necessarily work for another. What is right for one person, is not right for the next. When you are aware of this you can understand you simply have differing priorities and standards than someone else. Not right or wrong, not good or bad – just different.

Minimising

There is a wonderful saying by Madhu Vamsi, “You will never be criticized by someone who is doing more than you, you will only be criticised by someone doing less.” This was one of my most popular posts on social media, because of the truth in the words.

People who are succeeding want others to also. They feel good and solid within themselves and thus are not threatened by what someone else is doing (or wants to do). They have an abundance mindset and understand there is plenty for everyone and are happy to share. They work on the preface that everyone is equal and love seeing others elevated to feeling good about themselves.

On the other hand when someone wants to bring you down it is so they can feel good about themselves and what they aren’t doing. Because you succeeding or taking action highlights to them what they are not.

Opinions are Judgements

Bill Bullard said “Opinion is really the lowest form of human knowledge. It requires no accountability, no understanding.”

Most people who have an opinion on someone else typically never expect that person to hear what they have said, or they don’t expect the person to stand up for themselves. Nor has the opinionated person typically asked questions to gain understanding or knowledge. They have passed judgement based on what they believe to be fact, typically refuting facts.

Caring about what others think means that you are a considerate and kind person. The relationships you have with others is important to you. It is also an indicator that you need to nurture the relationship you have with yourself and to bring the focus back to yourself to build your own self love and esteem.

If you are struggling and need additional help please consider having a one on one session. Visit www.theinnersageaustralia.com

Flattening the emotional curve

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Right now there is so much discussion, and guidelines, on how to flatten the curve. It is just as important that we give the same consideration to flattening the emotional curve.

One of the main reasons it is important to flatten the emotion curve is due to the impact our emotions have on our health. Neuroscientist Candace Pert explains in her book, Molecules of Emotion, “As our feelings change, this mixture of peptides travels throughout your body and your brain. And they’re literally changing the chemistry of every cell in your body.”

Our cells are fundamental building blocks of our physical being. It is at this level where our health and well-being is determined. It is said that 95% of dis-ease is stress related. If our cells are flooded with negativity, negative chemistry will result. Impacting your cells from performing optimally.

As described by Hockenbury & Hockenbury, “An emotion is a complex psychological state that involves three distinct components: a subjective experience, a physiological response, and a behavioural or expressive response.”

This means what you are fundamentally in charge of your emotional curve. What you are feeling is right for you. Based on what you have decided something to mean for you. Now I’m not saying that what you are thinking is necessarily correct, your perception will be your reality.

Most people deny how they are feeling, especially when it is typically considered to be negative. Yet when you deny, repress or do not allow an emotion you create a neurological block. A block not only to that negative emotion yet also to the equally opposite positive one.

Typically considered negative emotions, used correctly are healthy, as long as you don’t allow them to fester and spiral into them. There is a big difference in acknowledging how you are feeling and spiralling into that feeling.

Dissolving emotions

First step in flattening the emotional curve is to acknowledging how you feel and give yourself permission to feel that way. For example it is okay to be angry as long as you don’t spiral down (or out of control) with your anger

The next step is to endeavour to understand the reason you are feeling that way. I’m a great believer in not needing the know the why in order to heal; however it can assist. So if you can’t work it out, that too is okay.

Then you need to ask yourself what is it you need to dissolve the negative emotion (or heighten a positive one). Making sure you following through on doing whatever it is you need.

Other tools to help flatten the emotional curve are:

Meditation

Meditation is the act of contemplation, reflection and/or prayer where you focus your mind with the intention of slowing down that thoughts will rise and choosing to not engage with these thoughts.

It is the process of be-ing; in that exact moment in time, free of busyness and distractions, not in the past and not in future, just present moment.

Like any new skill meditation can take time to master. So be compassionate with yourself when you start – it may you take you a few times before you are able to stop engaging with your thoughts.

To support your meditation process, try giving yourself another focus, such as your breath or music. A great breathing method for getting in to meditation is the 4-7-8 method. Breathe in for four, hold for seven and breathe out for eight. It helps relax you by shifting your from Sympathetic Nervous system (fight / flight response) to the Parasympathetic Nervous system (calm/composed state).

Another favourite suggestion for beginners is to light a candle and place your focus on the flame. Closing your eyes and then bringing the image of the flame into your mind. When your mind starts to wander open your eyes and focus on the physical flame, then closing your eyes again getting that image of the flame back in your minds eye. Continue doing so for the duration of the meditation.

Also start small…as in 5 or 10 minutes. Some is better than none.

Thymus Tapping

In Kinesiology we use thymus tapping to overall increase your energy levels as well as help energetically increase your capacity and ability to cope. In addition it is believed to energetically increase your immune system.

To do this tap on the centre of your chest where your sternum is and at the same time tap on the side of your body in alignment with where the crease of your arm naturally falls. Do this for approx. 30 seconds on one side and then 30 seconds on the other.

Focus of Concern / Focus of Influence

Stephen Covey in his book 7 Habits of Highly Effective People refers to the Circle of Influence v’s Circle of Concern. Essentially it is about where you are placing your focus. Are you focused on what is concerning you and getting bogged down by those concerns or are you focused on what action/s you can take to address what concerns you.

Focus of influence is about being empowered and proactive; to help you realise you have more power over things than you think.

Goals

Humans are teleological, which means we have a natural, inbuilt goal seeking drive. If we are not out seeking our own goals we tend to help and support others to seek theirs.

So having a goal, even if for the hour or day, sets your focus and intention on achieving something positive for yourself.

Journalling

James Pennebaker, a professor at the University of Texas undertook over forty years of research as to how journalling helped the individual to process significant emotional experiences. His researched demonstrated that by spending 20 minutes per day journalling participants experienced significant improvements physically and mentally.

They indicated they were happier, more cheerful and hopeful and calmer. Months after the journalling sessions their blood pressure had lowered, immune function impressed and overall felt healthier. They also indicated their relationships had improved, their memory was better and were having more successes at work.

Journalling / writing allows us to step out from the problem and see it from another perspective. Thus creating distance which can bring perspective about a situation.

Vitamin B & Iron

A scientific study from Japan found there is a significant correlation between panic/anxiety attacks and low levels of vitamin B6 and iron.

Serotonin, your body’s natural mood stabiliser and “happiness chemical”. It is synthesised in the body from the amino acid, tryptophan. For the synthesis of serotonin, vitamin B6 (Vit B6) and iron play important co-factors.

Thus increasing foods that are a source of tryptophan, Iron and Vitamin B could help improve your mindset. Foods that are a source of tryptophan are pumpkin seeds, turkey, grapefruit, tune, eggs, chia seeds, mozzarella sesame seeds and pistachios. Foods rich in Iron are spinach, red meat, lentils, cooked oysters, dark chocolate and white beans. Foods rich in Vitamin B6 are pork, turkey, fish, eggs, potato and bananas.

Protection

Just as you protect your physical body, it is important that we also protect and safeguard your energy fields in order to keep your energy clear of others energy and/or negative influences.

Energy which is not your own, especially when it is negative energy, can influence you resulting in stress, imbalance, mood swings, tiredness, lack of confidence, illness. Such energy can actually depletes your own energy leaving you without the vitality you need for general living.

Daily we interact with EMF’s – electromagnetic fields which we can’t see yet are received with us. Same too with energy. When you interact with people, or even when passing by strangers, your energy field connects or interacts with their energy field. This is why sometimes certain people can make you feel “off”.

Some of my favourite ways to protect my energy is essential oils such as Lavender or Frankincense, I also love the Resonate Essences Protection oil and I tend to use black tourmaline crystals to safeguard my energy fields.

If you found this helpful, be sure to head over to website for other articles full of tips and guidance.

Also if, after trying these techniques, you are still struggling with processing through your emotions then consider scheduling an appointment for kinesiology. You can book an appointment with me via: http://www.theinnersageaustralia.com/appointments/

Expanding your comfort zone

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It is likely you have seen or can resonate with this diagram regarding your comfort zone. I’ve used it previously in another article. It gives the implication that you have to leave your comfort zone to experience and get to where the “magic happens”.

In my experience, working with people, despite knowing that going outside their comfort zone is what they have to do to experience the “magic”, they simply don’t. Most find it less than easy to take that step into what they fear. However what if there was another way, what if we could interpret this image slightly differently?

When making changes, whether to your diet, exercise program or mindset, it is said the way to make the changes lasting is to make small changes regularly. When changes are not so drastic, it makes them less overwhelming and somewhat insignificant. Which means you are more likely to easily maintain them.

Comfort Zone Expansion

This principle can be applied to your comfort zone. Instead of stepping out of your comfort zone to be overpowered by fear, break down into smaller steps as to how you can get to where the magic happens. Also consider alternative ways that aren’t so forceful to you.

By taking minor steps you make minor adjustments naturally expanding what is considered comfortable. Because it is expanding, you have no need to go out side your comfort zone instead your comfort zone is enlarged to embrace where the “magic happens.

Recently my daughter and I went back to visit Trees Adventures at Grose River Park, Yarramundi NSW (Australia). I have somewhat of a fear of heights and again this seemed to escape my mind when I agreed to take her! Without mindfully being aware, we embraced this principle.

Instead of going to the most challenging one or even the somewhat challenging one, we started off on the easy course. We were making the uncomfortable more comfortable. The easy course helped give us skills as well as references that we could do it! Which helped us to tackle one of the more the more challenging courses.

Now that doesn’t mean at times I wasn’t fearful on the course and didn’t want to bail out (which by the way I found out you actually can’t – on some courses you are so high up they can’t get you, so the only choice you have is to keep going forward). What I did do though was adjust how I did the challenge. Perhaps not technically correct however I did it in a way that suited. It also was in a way that whilst still challenging wasn’t as immobilising as the “correct” option.

Regulating Fear

Another way to expand our comfort zone is to do something fearful each day. Now this doesn’t mean jumping out of planes fearful, it means something which is within reason fearful. For example giving a stranger a compliment; or taking yourself to lunch; going for a drive to somewhere you have never been (without the Navigation System); asking a new friend to catch up for coffee; going to the movies by yourself; learn a new language and practice it on a stranger.

In regulate fear you train your brain that it is OK to feel fear and to not be disabled by it. A buy product is that you are also practising courageousness and creating new neurological connections.

Build Self Trust

Lastly build trust within yourself. You can start doing this by being mindful of how you speak to yourself. Is it with kindness and support? If not, start changing it now. We are often so mindful about not wanting to hurt others yet do not apply that to ourselves. Have empathy for yourself when you get it “wrong”. Compliment yourself when you get things right.

You can also build trust within yourself by keeping the commitments and promises you have made to yourself. When you do, you unconsciously give yourself the message that you ARE reliable. You are someone who you can count on. It also gives yourself the message that you can and will take action when needed.

The key to trusting yourself is loving yourself. When you love yourself, trust is a natural by product. When you love and accept yourself, you allow you to be you and in doing so you can then build upon your strengths as well as create new ones. Trusting in yourself means that you know intrinsically that you can survive any situation. That you are able to take care of yourself and that you won’t give up on you.

Anxiety and Fear – friend or foe?

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Anxiety and fear are interrelated emotions, using the same or similar neurological pathways for processing information. Anxiety is the physical reactions that develop due to fear or stress. Fear can result as a response to anxious cues.

Either way anxiety and fear have become quite prevalent and widespread in today’s society and way of living. It is common, and even normal, from time to time to feel anxious and experience fear. In fact fear is our inbuilt response to external stimuli that is designed to keep us safe. Anxiety can help us to take action and to make informed decisions.

The problem occurs however when such feelings or physical symptoms are so strongly associated with that it becomes consuming and takes the person into a spiralling state. So is fear and anxiety a friend or foe?

When we stop, deny or repress an emotion we actually block the neural pathway that also allows the feel good chemicals, and thus emotions, to flow. Rather than stop, deny or repress such emotions we need to treat them as “friends” and dissolve them.

As previous mentioned we are naturally inbuilt with a fight or flight response. The aim of such response is to keep us safe and alive, which is our primal goal in life. So fear, and anxiety, from that perspective is extremely beneficial. You really wouldn’t want to come across a Coastal Eastern Taipan snake and be courageous and fearless.

Yet too from an emotional or spiritual perspective fear and anxiety have a positive reason for existing. Ultimately they are endeavouring to get our attention as there is a contradiction as to where we are directing our thoughts and energy with what is constructive and advantageous for us. It is telling us we are energetically misaligned.

Candace Pert, a neurophysicist, through her research showed that emotions create peptides that connect / dock in the receptors of cells throughout the body. Thus emotions are creating physical reactions in the body. As noted before we know that fear often creates symptoms of anxiety.

So fundamentally when it comes to fear, and anxiety, we need our brain to be communicating more appropriately and in a way that serves us. Perhaps we need to consider the reason the fear (or anxiety) is showing up and what it is endeavouring to get our attention for.

We know that the unconscious mind’s role is to keep us safe. To look out for dangers and direct us to act in a way that keeps us alive and out of dangers way. However often its reference of what is “safe” is based on historical data that is most likely outdated and no longer supporting or serving us.

It is also important to understand that as mammals we want to belong. Consider mammals in the wild, their safety and ability to remain alive is dependant on being accepted in the group. If not they are shunned to the perimeter of the group where they are more likely to be taken by predators.

So often our fear is due to not wanting to be different, and thus not shunned, by others. So we act in a way that our “group” does (which can be family, friends, colleagues) and/or in a way that we consider they will find acceptable.

Did you know that fear and excitement use the same energy? What happens thought is most people tend to misread excitement as fear, thus sabotaging themselves from taking action and enabling change.

Being fearful creates a misconception that we do not have choice, which debilitates us from making change. Also it is likely the old way of being has been acted upon for such a long time that it has created a strong neural pathways hence why we often act without thinking.

Most of our patterns of behaviour are created in the unconscious mind between the ages of two and seven. The way to change these patterns, and create new pathways, is repetition.

What precedes change and choice is awareness. Awareness of how your fears are causing you to act and disempower you. Once we have awareness we then have choice to either repeat the pattern of behaviour or to create change and new behaviour.

We need to know that the unconscious mind will endeavour to keep the old patterns because it considers them safe. This is the reason change can be less than easy. However more you disengage with the old pattern and act in the new way you minimise and disempower the old way of acting.

Thus in order to address anxiety, ideally you would address the fears that are underpinning or causing it. To do this you need to uncover what are the beliefs that create the fear and start acknowledging or creating references where the opposite is true.

Everyone’s anxiety experience of anxiety is different. Anxiety symptoms are real, headaches, dizziness, trembling, sweaty, unsettled stomach or nausea, feeling faint, shaky and breathing difficulties are a few.

What people tend to do is focus on the symptoms rather than them simply being a way to get the person’s attention. It is also important to consider that your anxiety symptoms could be a pattern of how you are keeping yourself “safe”. Thus you are unconsciously doing this because it is habitual.

I believe that emotions are not bad, they are showing up for a reason. Therefore it is important to dissolve the emotion rather than run or hide from it. So firstly acknowledge that you are feeling anxious and that it is ok for you to feel that way, as long as you don’t let it spiral you down.

Next bring awareness to what it is you were focusing on, thinking or talking about. For me I can wake up feeling this way and I’ve come to realise it can be due to a dream I was having or something I was thinking about before going to bed.

Then consider what is it you need in order to feel better and/or what is the solution to what you were thinking about or focusing on.

Another technique to help alleviate anxiety, in order to work on the underlying fears, is the 4-7-8 breathing pattern. This is a breathing rhythm developed by Dr. Andrew Weil, based on ancient yogic pranayama technique. It helps to oxygenate the body which helps to calm the nerves, relaxing and centring the body.

Breathe in for a count of four, hold for a count of seven and breathe out for a count of eight. Continue doing this for a min. of four rounds and as you get more comfortable with the technique you can do so for up to eight rounds.

As a kinesiologist I have seen many clients use kinesiology techniques to help support them dissolve fears and thus anxiety. Helping them to be stronger within themselves. The great thing about kinesiology is that it doesn’t use a “one size fits all” approach, it uses the wisdom of your internal healing system to find out specifically what you need.

So is fear and anxiety friend or foe? Ultimately I believe it is a friend, one that can be “cruel to be kind”. Just wanting our attention so that we are congruent within ourselves to create what we truly want and are capable of achieving.

Reclaiming your lost self

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The self relationship is the most important relationship you have. It relates to how you treat yourself. Your self love; self worth; self confidence, self value and self respect. It is the basis and foundation that determines how you interact with others.

So it would go without saying that it is vital to have a healthy self relationship if you are to lead a happy, fulfilled and empowered life. As well as having healthy professional and / or personal relationships.

Many people have never been given the tools or foundation to create a healthy self relationship. And for many who have, or are in the process of building this, can tend to easily get lost. Which results in them loosing or letting go of their sense of self.

Whilst this can occur in any situation it is more prevalent in romantic relationships. And something I often hear is women (yet man can too) “I don’t know who I am, I’ve lost me”. When we loose our self we loose the essence of what that person fell in love with.

From working with so many clients I have come to understand that whether it is in a work environment, friendship or romantic relationship that when a person has lost themselves they become unhappy in the situation and often want to make change and move on.

Are you feeling lost?

The main things that contribute to a person being or feeling lost are:

Not maintaining healthy boundaries;
Putting the others priorities and needs constantly before your own;
Loosing sight of your own goals;
Contradicting your own values and beliefs; and
Not keeping your own commitments to yourself

Healthy Boundaries

Boundaries are simply what you are and are not willing to accept from others. It is the threshold of what is ok, which allows you feel empowered, joyful, at peace and in alignment with your true self.

As boundaries are fundamentally what is, and isn’t, ok for us. They will differ for each person. Usually it is what we really need to say no to rather than saying yes. As long as your boundaries do not purposefully hurt another, they can never be right or wrong.

Boundaries determine:

the degree in which we will allow someone into our personal space, physically, emotionally and spiritually;
the nature of treatment and behaviour that we find acceptable and appropriate;
what we allow or disallow;
whether we are giving our power and energy to another; and
how loving we treat ourselves and how loving we can be towards others.

They really are the most loving thing we can have and implement for ourselves and others. Because when we don’t we ultimately become resentful of that person or place.

Priorities and Needs

Whilst it is healthy to take into the consideration of others priorities and needs, in all relationships it is important. However when it is continually at the detriment of your own then you are fundamentally saying you are not important.

Priorities can be your friends, clients, writing, reading, going to the beach. The things, people and places that contribute to your happiness and what makes you YOU.

Needs are what you require in order to live a healthy life or have a healthy relationship. Most people accept what is on offer settling for less than what they need.

Goals

Humans are teleological, which means we have a natural, inbuilt goal seeking drive. If we are not out seeking our own goals we tend to help and support others to seek theirs. Which often happens in careers and relationships.

Of course we can support others in their goals however not to the point where we put our own aspirations and goals on the back burner.

Values and Beliefs

Your identity, who you are, the choices you make and how you distinguish your self is determined by what your values are. Values are the elemental principles that you live by. They epitomise what is important to you and are closely supported by your beliefs.

They can be describe by a word or short sentence such as:

Courage
Integrity
Making a difference
Abundance
Gaining knowledge
Love
Success

From the ages of 7-14 you are in the “Modelling” period of your life. What this means is you will consciously or unconsciously chose a person or people to emulate and therefore take on many of that person’s values and beliefs.

Values determine your choices, your behaviour and thus the actions you do or do not take.

When our value systems do not match with someone else you tend not to like them. So in order to be liked you may change your values to match theirs. However when you go against what it is you values you will create dissonance (conflict) within your self, which fundamentally makes you unhappy with your self and others.

Self Commitments

Your primary and main commitment must be to yourself first. It is your duty and responsibility to keep promises you have made to yourself. As well as standing by your decisions.

This is not about being selfish and it is not about being selfless. Neither end of the scale are healthy. What is healthy is ensuring there is a balance between both. Because if you are not filling up your own cup first you will not have the required energy to keep yourself healthy whilst filling up others.

Primary commitment to your self means honouring who you are and who you are not. Being your own champion by supporting yourself; advocating yourself and protecting yourself. Much of which is done by prioritising yourself; ensuring you are meeting your needs; taking actions towards your goals and standing by your own values and beliefs.

Yet too it is following through on the promises, tasks and arrangements you have made for yourself. Not putting them aside because some thing of a lesser importance also needs doing.

Re-Claiming your Lost self

If you have lost yourself consider in what way specifically you have lost you. What is it that you have stopped doing that brings you joy and makes you happy? Perhaps re-read over the above and make notes as to how each of the five areas resonate with you.

What are you doing or giving your energy to (or perhaps who) that doesn’t make you feel good? Then consider what actions you need to take, what support do you need or what could you put in place to change this.

Consider, and remind yourself, who you actually are instead of who you are not. A client said “I’ve just got to accept I am insecure’. I said “With what I observe, you are one of the most confident and secure people I know.” Too often people have a negative sense or view of them self which is not a true perception.

From a spiritual sense reclaim your self by calling your spirit back. Whenever we interact with some one or thing we exchange energy and we can leave fragments of our energy. Calling your spirit back is a Native American concept to return your fragmented your energy which has been left with people, places and situations, so that you are able to be whole.

In the times that I have found the need to call back my own spirit, I have felt a shift in my energy and a return of inner strength. It has enabled me to let go of matters that were playing in my head and that were lowering my vibration. It has also helped me to remember who I am and embrace it.

Calling your spirit back is a very simple process and can be done by stating out loud “I call back my spirit. I command all fragments of my spirit left in other places, times and dimension or with other people and events to return to me right now. As those parts of my spirit integrate in my being, they are cleansed and revitalised, invigorating and renewing my spirit as a whole”

Many people easily loose themselves, even when they know the concept. In my observations both men and women do it; yet women tend to be better at it??!! Raising your awareness is a great antidote for not getting lost as well as creating habits that honour yourself.

Also it is usually a pattern that has been created in childhood and reinforced over the years. The goods news: when you reinforce a new pattern of maintaining your self so you are unlikely to loose yourself again, in time, it just becomes the new standard.

If after trying these techniques you are still struggling with your the process to reclaiming yourself then consider kinesiology. You can book an appointment with us via: http://www.theinnersageaustralia.com/appointments/

Understanding the process and sequence of healing

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Being on my own healing journey, as well as supporting others on their own, I’ve often wondered what is the reason healing doesn’t happen, per say, overnight. Why, despite all the work done to release an issue, that it either so much time and effort to be healed. Can reappear in other ways or not be 100% released. What is the reason it usually takes several sessions of healing related to the same issue before we are liberated from it. Seeking to understand the process of healing.

The common analogy used to describe the healing process is the layers of an onion. As in with an onion when you keep peeling the layers back you get to the core. That too with healing as you peel back a layer, which in healing involves having acceptance of what is and what has been, letting go and integrating the lesson, you get to the core matter and healing is able to occur.

So whilst I believe this to be somewhat true of healing I don’t believe it is the best analogy to explain the reason healing takes time and/or the healing process.

Recently I saw this saying “Healing unfolds in its own time; it doesn’t look to a calendar or clock for direction” (unknown). After having worked on several aspects of an issue, I personally came to understand that in divine timing the healing just falls into place. Just like <snap of the fingers> that. Similar to how a mechanical puzzle works. In that all the parts are interlinked and once the parts are in the right place the puzzle becomes whole and/or unlocks.

Each healing session can be considered as interlinked parts of the puzzle / greater picture. Knowing that each and every session has its own merit because it is critical to uncovering information required for the process of healing. And as with a combination lock once all the parts of the code are obtained, in the right and correct order, healing occurs to be the new way of being.

The trauma, grief, pain, etc that occurs from people; situations; places; things fundamentally creates stress. That stress winds into the body and we hold it mentally; emotionally; spiritually; physically and/or chemically. Hence the reason it is important to have a modality (yes such as kinesiology) which helps unwind such stress from all aspects of who we are ~ mind; body and spirit.

Once stress is unwound from the body we then need to process it in order to release it as well as integrate the benefit thereof. Sometimes that process can be very gentle however at times a person can have an adverse reaction to healing. Which means their processing can be emotionally overwhelming. The processing can be draining or they can have physical detoxing symptoms.

If healing one aspect of an issue can have such an impact, imagine what healing the whole matter in one go would have on a person. The processing would be extreme and too overwhelming for a person to move through. Resulting in the healing having an opposing effect.

Thus it is highly unlikely the person’s physical; mental; emotional systems could cope with such an overload of healing. Resulting in likely burn out and them simply giving up or retreating from the world. This being a main reason we don’t heal major issues in one session.

The process of how stress winds into our body and with healing how it is unwound out is very similar to the Fibonacci sequence / Golden Ratio / Sacred Geometry. All of which are principles that describe the inner workings of nature and the Universe.

These principles provide order to that which seems chaotic. Indicating there is an intelligent design and blueprint in all that exists. That there is no random way to which we grow.

In nature we easily find these unfolding patterns and spirals; as in plants, shells, flowers and weather patterns. The same natural patterns are found in the human body, such as our brainwaves, DNA and structures. When you look at the cross cut of DNA it looks like a flower and the golden ratio pattern is easily seen.

When we apply this principle to healing we understand there is a natural pattern and progression which needs to unfold in order for us to have growth and evolution. As with the Fibonacci sequence (Golden Ratio, Sacred Geometry) each session of healing combines with the previous one to provide the structure and foundation for the next stage.

Meaning that the healing occurs in alignment with the universal order of nature, so too we follow the pattern for natural evolution to achieve universal and natural order within ourselves.

By accepting there is a natural order to healing, a process of healing, we more easily allow for the uncovering and alignment of the code. Such code which as with the combination lock analogy when in the right place and order gives us the key for healing to be activated. We calibrate and align with the higher aspect of who we are to live with bliss, empowerment and ease!

If after trying these techniques you are still struggling with your healing process then consider scheduling an appointment for kinesiology. You can book an appointment with us via: http://www.theinnersageaustralia.com/appointments/

Grieving – How time does not heal wounds

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Grief is an emotion which is not only attributed to someone dying. In fact it is associated with any change and adjustment, particularly those of a major and/or emotional nature.

When a person is experiencing grief typically those around them (friends, family, associates) are unsure of how to brooch the topic, uncertain of what to say, or what do. One statement which is typically used is that “time heals all wounds”.

However after working with many clients and seeing close friends experience grief I disagree with this popular adage. To believe that time does not heal your wounds. Rose Kennedy was quoted: “It has been said, ‘time heals all wounds.’ I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens, but it is never gone.”

Molecules of Emotion

Dr Candace Pert PhD, neuropharmacologist, stated: “A feeling sparked in our mind-or body-will translate as a peptide being released somewhere. [Organs, tissues, skin, muscle and endocrine glands], they all have peptide receptors on them and can access and store emotional information. This means the emotional memory is stored in many places in the body, not just or even primarily, in the brain. You can access emotional memory anywhere in the peptide/receptor network, in any number of ways. I think unexpressed emotions are literally lodged in the body. The real true emotions that need to be expressed are in the body, trying to move up and be expressed and thereby integrated, made whole, and healed.”

Time can either do one of two things;

push the painful emotions and memories down to keep them at bay so they are not fresh in your conscious mind; or
gives you the opportunity to discover techniques which makes it easier to navigate your wounds, grief and pain.

Which means those who are electing for option 1 (above) will simply store the emotions, replaying and duplicating their grief within the coding of their cells. Such information / wounding festers waiting for the “right” opportunity to bubble to the surface, which typically is at an inopportune moment.

Ultimately allowing time to heal the wound is a dis-empowering and unhealthy option. The emotions need to be expressed in order to be released. In having awareness of what the emotion is, we can name the emotion and therefore explore the emotion. This is how we move forward.

Navigating Grief

There are various techniques (see below) which can help a person to navigate grief. Yet the first step is understanding the stages of grief. Through her extensive research Elizabeth Kúbler-Ross, a Swiss-American psychiatrist and pioneer in near-death studies, determined the Five Stages of Grief, which are:

Denial

Denial is a conscious or unconscious to not being willing to accept the situation where the person can isolate themselves due to their refusal of the situation. It can be due to their disbelief that the situation is happening and tends to be a defence mechanism which is masking the person’s shock of the situation.

Anger

A person will use anger as an emotion to deflect from their vulnerability of the situation and it can manifest in various ways. They can be angry at themselves, at those close to them or those who were involved in the situation. Endeavouring to be non-judgement with those in this stage of grief and remaining detached can assist both, all, parties.

Bargaining

This is where the person yearns for what has been lost and is categorised by the “if only” or “what if” statements. It’s where we want the situation to return to what we knew it to be, to be able to go back in time and do something different so a positive outcome happens. Guilt is often an emotion experienced in this stage, as the person thinks of what they could have done and feel guilty for not having done it.

Depression

Here the person is preparing to bid farewell and is an indicator that the person has begun to accept the reality of the situation. It can be described as acceptance with emotional attachment and it is natural for the person to experience feelings of sadness and regret, fear and uncertainty.

Acceptance

Usually this stage is marked by a calmness and acknowledgement of the situation, recognising that this is their reality and thus now living with the permanence of the change. The person has re-adjusted to life as they now know it and are allowing themselves to make new connections and to enjoy life again.

Grief is a very personal thing and everyone grieves differently. The stages do not necessary occur in a specific order, nor is there a time limit or potency set for each stage. Also it is possible for a person to experience a stage more than once.

Tools for navigation grief

Kinesiology

Being a kinesiologist, I think it natural for this to be my number one suggestion for moving through grief. The main reason being because it’s NOT a one size fits all solution. Rather a kinesiology session is personalised to the individual as a kinesiologist uses the client’s own innate wisdom as to what is needed to shift and move through their grief.

Via muscle testing, a kinesiologist seeks the underlying emotion which is causing the imbalance or blockage of energy flow. Therefore sometimes it actually isn’t the emotion that you logically think it is. As mentioned previously when you can name the emotion (correctly) you are able to explore and process through it.

More information can be found about kinesiology via: What is Kinesiology?

Write & Burn

Scientific evidence shows that when a person writes they are accessing both aspects of their brain. The physical act of writing accesses our analytical and rational left brain as well as engages our creative, intuitive, feeling right brain.

By engaging both hemispheres we increase our innovation, meaning we are able to transform and transcend situations. James Pennebaker, a professor at the University of Texas undertook over forty years of research as to how journalling helped the individual to process significant emotional experiences. His researched demonstrated that by spending 20 minutes per day journalling participants experienced significant improvements physically and mentally.

Unlike journalling, the concept of writing and burning is that whatever you are about to write you will not be keeping. What I like about this is that when we know we aren’t going to keep it , and thus no one will ever see what we have written, we tend to get more honest on the page.

In addition to this the act of burning the page/s is symbolic and ritualistic. It takes the written page and transforms it into ash, something the earth can re-cycle for a positive purpose.

Make time for Silence

Research shows that silence has many positive benefits. Silence can be meditation however is not limited to that. Silence can simply be spending time on your own without distractions.

Benefits of silence is:

It helps the hippocampus to grow new brain cells. The hippocampus is an important part of the Lymbic system and is involved in the formation, organisation and storage of memories. It is also involved with learning and the formation of emotions.

Silence works to balance our left and right brains, which results in whole brain synchronisation. Thus neither our emotions or logic overwhelm the other. This assists the brain in the sorting of information, enabling us to gather and process information.

The positive impact to important body and brain chemicals. Such as Melatonin; known as the “sleep molecule”. It is known to is known to inhibit cancer, strengthen the immune system and slow down the ageing process.

Serotonin; known as the “happy” neurotransmitter because it has a profound impact on our moods. It is also thought to help regulate mood and social behaviour, appetite and digestion, sleep, memory, and sexual desire and function.

GABA; is known as the “calm chemical” as it helps to control fear and anxiety. It sends chemical messages throughout the brain and the nervous system and plays an important role in behaviour, perception, awareness, comprehension as well as how the body response to stress.

DHEA; which is known as the “longevity molecule” as it counteracts cortisol. It also helps lower depression, sadness and irritability. It helps increase our ability to deal with stress and reduces worrying. It also helps increase motivation and energy levels.

Endorphins; the “natural high” hormone. As they interact with the opiate receptors in the brain to reduce our perception of pain, similar to how morphine and codeine work.

Growth Hormone which sustains our tissues and organs, helping keeping them “youthful”.

Cortisol, which is one of the major stress hormones, is reduced. Too much can wears down the body (and brain). Destroying healthy muscle and bone, blocking the creation of good hormones. It can create anxiety, depression, increased blood pressure, brain fog, insomnia and inflammation.

If after trying these techniques you are still struggling with processing through your grief then consider scheduling an appointment for kinesiology. You can book an appointment with us via: http://www.theinnersageaustralia.com/appointments/

Developing your psychic / intutive abilities

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It is my belief that we all have psychic abilities. That we all are naturally intutive and have the ability to be psychic. However similarly to playing the piano; where some will sit down and have a natural ability to play beautiful, others will have to practice and develop their ability.

Often I am asked by clients how can they develop their ability and to be honest I believe it is much simpler than we make it out to be. However, for most, as it does with any new skill it takes dedication and time to developing it.

Being intuitive is about listening to your inner wisdom; your inner navigation system. It is also the basis from which we grow our psychic abilities. Being psychic is the ability to communicate with the spirit world and receive guidance from them.

However before starting with any development it is important to understand and implement the three fundamentals of: Grounding; Protection and cleansing. These fundamentals help give you a strong foundation from which you can grow and develop your skills.

Here is a quick overview of these fundamentals and you can find more details in separate blogs for each topic. Each blog also has suggestions and exercises.

Grounding: is the process of connecting and anchoring yourself to the earthly plane. In order to bring information into existence from the “energetic / heavenly” plane we must be grounded. It is similar to the reason electricity must be grounded – in order for the current to be distributed. http://www.theinnersageaustralia.com/2016/03/16/grounding/

Protection: is the safeguarding of your energy fields in order to keep their energy clear of another’s. Just as I would not leave my door open, because anyone could walk in, so too we need to ensure our energy field is not being kept susceptible to others energy impeding our own. http://www.theinnersageaustralia.com/2016/03/25/spiritual-basics-protection/

Cleansing: Just us our physical body regularly needs cleansing both internally and externally to ensure we don’t get a build up of filth (externally) or toxins (internally), so too does our energetic bodies. Cleaning ensures we clear the build up of residue which doesn’t serve our best interests. http://www.theinnersageaustralia.com/2016/04/30/spiritual-basics-cleansing/

Exercises for Increasing your Intuition / Psychic abilities

MEDITATION

Meditation put simply is the act of taking time out with the aim to quiet your mind. Meditation is the essence of mindfulness, which is described as a state of being actively in the present, observing thoughts and feelings from a distance without judgement of them.

Thus it can be considered as an act of contemplation, reflection and/or prayer where a person focuses their mind with the intention of slowing down and knowing that thoughts will rise, however choosing not to engage with these thoughts. It is the process of being; in that exact moment in time, free of busyness and distractions, not in the past and not in future, just present moment.

I believe meditation to be one of the most important aspects to enriching your psychic abilities because it gets you out of your head and into your heart. Our heart is where your inner wisdom; your intuition lives. The heart is also the gateway to our higher energy centres and the portal to the spirit universe.

You’ll find some free meditation exercises on our education site: https://innersagisms.thinkific.com

JOURNAL

Scientific evidence indicates that when a person writes they access both aspects of their brain. The physical act of writing accesses our analytical and rational left brain as well as engages our creative, intuitive, feeling right brain.

Journalling is a tool which assists in eliminating the chatter of our minds. The very act of writing is a releasing process, as the individual is expressing what is going on for them, rather than keeping it locked in, which often impacts on our physical. By writing we tend to sift and filter our thoughts, rather than let them take control of us.

By journalling we have better chance of accessing our own inner wisdom, our intuition, to do what we know and feel is right for us, rather than speak with others who govern us by their own beliefs and values.

We also begin to learn about our own inner being, knowing who you are v’s who you want to be and enabling you to close the gap, bringing you closer to your authentic self.

EXERCISE #1- Inner Alignment Journalling

Each morning before you get caught up in the flow of the day spend 20 minutes writing non stop. Don’t think, just write and let the topic naturally emerge. It can be about whatever comes to you in that moment and the topics can change, you just need to ensure that it is for a full 5 minutes without stopping.

There is no need to re-read or analyse what you are writing, as it is a dedicated time for you to be boundless with your thoughts, to be YOU and allow whatever is on your mind to be freed. It can be a list of things you need to do, it can be about an important meeting you have for the day, whatever comes to mind and to your pen.

EXERCISE #2 – Intuition Journalling

Guidance and our intuition can come in various forms. It can be a gut feeling or innate knowing. As you develop you may hear your spirit guides “voice” or they may send you images. Sometimes the messages may be in a sign sent in the physical form of an insect, bird, flower, book or person.

So either during the day or before you go to bed spend 5-10 minutes listing all the incidents where you had an intuitive sense, message and/or guidance. List when you did listen to the feeling, information or sign and you were correct. Also list you didn’t listen to it and were you were wrong.

By acknowledging when you did or didn’t listen you are strengthen this skill as well as increasing your ability to listen and trust your intuition and psychic abilities.

GET CREATIVE

Generalising, the left and right hemispheres of our brain process information quite differently. While we have a natural affinity with one way of thinking, the two sides of our brain work are always working together.

Our left brain is our logic and analytic side. It process information sequentially and thinks in words and numbers. It tends to piece information from a detailed perspective.

Whereas the right side of our brain is where our non-verbal, intuitive and creative aspect of our brain. It process information via pictures and is big picture thinking.

In order to build our intuition “muscle” we simply need to engage that side of the brain more purposefully. Via such exercises as meditation, drawing, creative writing, visualising, knitting, playing music and painting.

Creative Brain Exercise

Set time aside this week at least three times to write or draw using your non-dominant hand for at least 15 minutes. When you use your the hand you don’t normally use to write or draw it helps you connect with your creative, intuitive and emotional side.

PREDICTION PLAY

Prediction play is one of my favourite ways to increase your psychic abilities and intuition. Most likely because it is a chance to have fun with your skills in a safe way. The aim of this exercise is to guess or predict a result. For example who is calling you without looking at your phone.

The objective is not necessarily to be right, as it is an exercise to understanding when you are in your head rather than listening to your inner wisdom and/or guidance.

With any of the prediction plays the key is feeling the answer rather than thinking it. The answers may also come via “hearing” or “seeing”. Please be aware that you won’t see or hear as you do with your earthly senses.

This exercise helps you to differentiate and understand the nuances of how your intuition speaks with you (it differs with each person) as well as how the universe and your spirit guides can speak with you.

PP Exercises

Here are some suggestions to what you can apply this to:

When you have one or more elevators; predict which one is going to arrive first
Get three cards (of any kind), turn them over, mix them up and then feel for a specific card
When your phone rings, feel who is calling you
Guess how much a bill or invoice, which differs in amount each time, will be
Predict when the traffic lights will change

Being more in alignment with your intuition is incredibly rewarding. It helps you to trust more in yourself and your own flow. The ability to confidently steer your own ship and direction.

Whereas being psychic is not for the faint hearted. The more your increase your abilities the more sensitive you become to the world around you. Also too I have found there is a level of responsibility which comes with such abilities. Please know you can develop these to a level which is right with you and you are able to set parameters around how your guides work for you.

Either way, enjoy the journey.

Riding the Self-Esteem Wave

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Self-esteem is how you overall feel about your self. It does encompass your the value you have for yourself as well as your self-worth. Contradictory to what we have been led to believe, our self-esteem is not a stagnant way of being. In fact most people, especially women, experience fluctuations with their self-esteem.

Consider it to fluctuate like the ocean wave. When you are on the upside of the fluctuation, you feel confident, ready to take on the world; loving who you are, easily seeing your own worth and value. However when on the downside of the wave you will second guess yourself, having doubt and being overly critical of your self.

Such ups and downs are normal, in fact they are considered as essential as long as you manage them effectively. Dualities are every where around you; life in itself is with the duality of death. In fact dualities are everywhere, cannot exist without the other. The Yin/Yang symbol is one reminder of this. That dualities which are seemingly opposite or contrary are actually complementary and interconnected. Thus dualities ~ such as the ups and downs ~ are required to be whole.

The more acceptance you have that your self-esteem will fluctuate, as well as understanding it is normal, the more likely you are to minimise the depth and frequency of such “waves”. When you can “ride the wave” you are able to allow flow and surrender. It is in such surrender that flow naturally occurs as does synchronicity.

It is important to know and accept that when you are on the downside of the fluctuation (wave) this is when your negative emotions, baggage, “stuff”, things you’ve not dealt with are more likely to present.

What exactly are your emotions? “An emotion is a complex psychological state that involves three distinct components: a subjective experience, a physiological response, and a behavioural or expressive response.” (Hockenbury & Hockenbury, 2007).

The word emotion originates from the French word “emouvoir” which means to excite. As well as the Latin word “emovere” which means to move. Your emotions serve to motivate you to take action (move) towards things that excite you. Emotions also serve for you to take action in order to survive and thus keep yourself safe from danger.

Running from, not dealing with, or pushing your emotions away only makes them stronger and persistent in trying to get your attention. It’s the adage, whatever you resist, persists. Your emotions then control you, rather than you be in control of them.

Whilst it is important to take actions that build your self-esteem, it is also important to understand that the downside of the wave is an important time for you to undertake emotional spring cleaning.

When you seek to understand the reasons as to why the emotions are presenting themselves; by being compassionate and nurturing yourself you loosen their grip in order to achieve release and healing.

Ways to undertake emotional spring cleaning

Acknowledge how you are feeling and what it is you are thinking or focusing on to make you feel that way. Consider is this just a “story” you are telling yourself and what evidence do you have that it is a truth? and/or what could be equally if not more so true
Recognise what it is that you need right now and give that to yourself. Is it loving words of support from yourself? Is it time in nature? To go shopping and treat yourself? To take time out and go to the beach or to read a good book?
Grab a pen and paper and write. Consider what event, situation, place or person the emotions relate to and allow the words to flow onto the page, getting raw and honest with yourself. How do you feel about what happened? What has been left unresolved? What was the impact? What were the negatives? and what were the positives (yes there will be some)? and what are the insights you need to release and let it go?
Find a nice patch of grass or sand and stand on it barefoot. Connect in with the earth energy and imagine the negative emotions as well as anything that relate to them releasing from your body down through the soles of you feet into the core of the earth where this negativity will be transformed and transmuted.

When you can accept that your self-esteem will fluctuate and that this is normal, as well as be vulnerably brave to address and heal what you need to, you will find that you have greater distance in between the fluctuations.

Feeling great? Understand why Kinesiology will still benefit you

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When you are feeling great it is really interesting just how kinesiology will still benefit you and in some cases even more so. Many of my clients will say “I’m feeling great, I don’t think I need to come” or “I’m not sure what we can work on”. This is music to my ears as 1. it means Kinesiology is working for them and 2. now we can work in a very difference space.

However, it also made me realise that there is a misconception that kinesiology is ONLY a healing modality.

When you have “stuff” (a technical healing term) to work on you will be in a space where you are treating and remedying the issue/s. Including the manifestations and symptoms of those issues e.g. anxiety.

At the initial stage of kinesiology, for most people, they are staying in their “stuff”, having gotten stuck in it and/or in the symptomology of the issue. Whilst at some level you will need to go into the problem, the focus of kinesiology is to move you through it.

Once this foundation has been built, and reinforced, you will start to be feeling much better. You’ll find you are aligned to the intention that was set for your sessions. This doesn’t mean that you won’t be affected by life and it’s stressors. Nor does it mean you won’t experience moments of emotions. People, situations and events may shake the foundation. This is why at the very least it is important to keep up maintenance sessions every three to six months.

Transcendental Balancing

However when you sustain a regular kinesiology program then your sessions becomes even more alchemistic. You are able to come into a place of being where you thrive and build on what is good. You tend to become more resilient to life stressors and you now are able to flourish.

This transcendental balancing aligns and connects you with your potential, supporting you to actualise it. You are able to navigate life with higher executive cognitive functioning which enables your working memory, flexible thinking, and self-control. You also become more positively disposed.

Kinesiology as a self development tool

Albert Einstein was reported to have said, “Once you stop learning, you start dying”. I believe this can also be applied to self development. In fact, neuroscience has shown that if the brain is not being used, like a muscle, it atrophies (wastes away).

Kinesiology certainly doesn’t make self development redundant, however it does support self development as it can uncover what you cannot. Most times people are not aware of the program that is influencing them or where that program originated. Kinesiology provides a framework for being able to uncover this.

Triad of Life

Kinesiology is a truly holistic modality as it works on the triad of health concept. The triad of health is that you are not just your body; nor just your mind; nor just spiritual. You are a combination of all three.

That the foundation for health is for all aspects of you to be in balance. If not, the aspect which is out of balance will impact the other two.

The triad of health is represented in all aspects of life, not just health. Therefore if you are only working on one aspect of personal development, then holistic development is not being achieved.

Personal development is mind; body and spirit. Whilst you can achieve this by undertaking a combination of various modalities and exercises, kinesiology certainly covers all three at the same time!

The more I work with kinesiology, the more I learn from my clients. One in particular has taught me the influence of regular kinesiology sessions – even when you feel great. He has shown me how building on what is already great, enhances it. As well as the fortitude to manage people, situations and events. He truly lives from an empowered state and the regular session support him in maintaining and enhancing it.

Overall, even if you are feeling great, regularly kinesiology sessions ensure you are taking charge of your well-being. Rather than waiting until things have compounded to be problematic.

If you are overdue for a session or haven’t seen a kinesiologist you can use the link below to schedule a session with us.

http://www.theinnersageaustralia.com/appointments/