Tag Archives: Emotions

Fear, Anxiety, Anxious, Courage, Brave, Fearless

Anxiety and Fear – friend or foe?

Anxiety and fear are interrelated emotions, using the same or similar neurological pathways for processing information.  Anxiety is the physical reactions that develop due to fear or stress.  Fear can result as a response to anxious cues.

Either way anxiety and fear have become quite prevalent and widespread in today’s society and way of living.  It is common, and even normal, from time to time to feel anxious and experience fear.  In fact fear is our inbuilt response to external stimuli that is designed to keep us safe.  Anxiety can help us to take action and to make informed decisions.

The problem occurs however when such feelings or physical symptoms are so strongly associated with that it becomes consuming and takes the person into a spiralling state.   So is fear and anxiety a friend or foe?

When we stop, deny or repress an emotion we actually block the neural pathway that also allows the feel good chemicals, and thus emotions, to flow.  Rather than stop, deny or repress such emotions we need to treat them as “friends” and dissolve them.

As previous mentioned we are naturally inbuilt with a fight or flight response.  The aim of such response is to keep us safe and alive, which is our primal goal in life.  So fear, and anxiety, from that perspective is extremely beneficial.  You really wouldn’t want to come across a Coastal Eastern Taipan snake and be courageous and fearless.

Yet too from an emotional or spiritual perspective fear and anxiety have a positive reason for existing.  Ultimately they are endeavouring to get our attention as there is a contradiction as to where we are directing our thoughts and energy with what is constructive and advantageous for us.  It is telling us we are energetically misaligned.

Candace Pert, a neurophysicist, through her research showed that emotions create peptides that connect / dock in the receptors of cells throughout the body.  Thus emotions are creating physical reactions in the body.   As noted before we know that fear often creates symptoms of anxiety.

So fundamentally when it comes to fear, and anxiety, we need our brain to be communicating more appropriately and in a way that serves us.  Perhaps we need to consider the reason the fear (or anxiety) is showing up and what it is endeavouring to get our attention for.

We know that the unconscious mind’s role is to keep us safe.  To look out for dangers and direct us to act in a way that keeps us alive and out of dangers way.  However often its reference of what is “safe” is based on historical data that is most likely outdated and no longer supporting or serving us.

It is also important to understand that as mammals we want to belong.  Consider mammals in the wild, their safety and ability to remain alive is dependant on being accepted in the group.  If not they are shunned to the perimeter of the group where they are more likely to be taken by predators.

So often our fear is due to not wanting to be different, and thus not shunned, by others.  So we act in a way that our “group” does (which can be family, friends, colleagues) and/or in a way that we consider they will find acceptable.

Did you know that fear and excitement use the same energy?  What happens thought is most people tend to misread excitement as fear, thus sabotaging themselves from taking action and enabling change.

Being fearful creates a misconception that we do not have choice, which debilitates us from making change.  Also it is likely the old way of being has been acted upon for such a long time that it has created a strong neural pathways hence why we often act without thinking.

Most of our patterns of behaviour are created in the unconscious mind between the ages of two and seven.  The way to change these patterns, and create new pathways, is repetition.  

What precedes change and choice is awareness.  Awareness of how your fears are causing you to act and disempower you.  Once we have awareness we then have choice to either repeat the pattern of behaviour or to create change and new behaviour.

We need to know that the unconscious mind will endeavour to keep the old patterns because it considers them safe.  This is the reason change can be less than easy.  However more you disengage with the old pattern and act in the new way you minimise and disempower the old way of acting.

Thus in order to address anxiety, ideally you would address the fears that are underpinning or causing it.  To do this you need to uncover what are the beliefs that create the fear and start acknowledging or creating references where the opposite is true. 

Everyone’s anxiety experience of anxiety is different.  Anxiety symptoms are real, headaches, dizziness, trembling, sweaty, unsettled stomach or nausea, feeling faint, shaky and breathing difficulties are a few.

What people tend to do is focus on the symptoms rather than them simply being a way to get the person’s attention.  It is also important to consider that your anxiety symptoms could be a pattern of how you are keeping yourself “safe”.  Thus you are unconsciously doing this because it is habitual.

I believe that emotions are not bad, they are showing up for a reason.  Therefore it is important to dissolve the emotion rather than run or hide from it.  So firstly acknowledge that you are feeling anxious and that it is ok for you to feel that way, as long as you don’t let it spiral you down. 

Next  bring awareness to  what it is you were focusing on, thinking or talking about.  For me I can wake up feeling this way and I’ve come to realise it can be due to a dream I was having or something I was thinking about before going to bed.

Then consider what is it you need in order to feel better and/or what is the solution to what you were thinking about or focusing on.

Another technique to help alleviate anxiety, in order to work on the underlying fears,  is the 4-7-8 breathing pattern.  This is a breathing rhythm developed by Dr. Andrew Weil, based on ancient yogic pranayama technique.  It helps to oxygenate the body which helps to calm the nerves, relaxing and centring the body.

Breathe in for a count of four, hold for a count of seven and breathe out for a count of eight.  Continue doing this for a min. of four rounds and as you get more comfortable with the technique you can do so for up to eight rounds.  

As a kinesiologist I have seen many clients use kinesiology techniques to help support them dissolve fears and thus anxiety.  Helping them to be stronger within themselves.  The great thing about kinesiology is that it doesn’t use a “one size fits all” approach, it uses the wisdom of your internal healing system to find out specifically what you need.

So is fear and anxiety friend or foe?  Ultimately I believe it is a friend, one that can be “cruel to be kind”.  Just wanting our attention so that we are congruent within ourselves to create what we truly want and are capable of achieving.

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Loneliness

Loneliness; a feeling not a fact

In reviewing various reference books and other sources there wasn’t a great deal written about loneliness.  Perhaps it is because it is a topic not often spoken about and perhaps a topic that can be less than easy to address.

Two substantial ideas that in relation to loneliness is one, there are different aspects of loneliness.  Such as being in a new situation type of loneliness or lack of close friends loneliness or having no time for oneself or too much time to oneself. Or the one I often come across in clinci is that type of loneliness when a person isn’t in a relationship.

The second substantial idea is that loneliness is a feeling not a fact.    Considering that feelings are the reaction to an emotion, in the instance of loneliness sadness that is typically the trigger.

Consider what exactly are our emotions?  “An emotion is a complex psychological state that involves three distinct components: a subjective experience, a physiological response, and a behavioural or expressive response.”  (Hockenbury & Hockenbury, 2007)

It is interesting that emotions are a “subjective experience”.  Which means that despite (at times) people experiencing the same situations, events, relationships, places, etc the interpretation of such WILL differ.

The reason people interpret information differently, and thus experience differing emotions, is due to the trigger of a conscious or unconscious thought / belief.   So what is loneliness for one person is bliss for another.

Being a kinesiologist, I love the concepts we use from Chinese medicine.  Thus it is interesting to draw information from this perspective.  In Chinese medicine loneliness relates to the Metal element, more specifically the Large Intestine meridian.  Meridians are channels through which energy flows in the body.  They relate to certain organs, muscles, emotions and life lessons.

The large intestine also relates to other attributes as self worth, feeling worthy of love, fear of rejection, letting go of guilt and grief as well as self imposed isolation.

Delving deeper into the 5 Element concept of Chinese medicine the Metal element is controlled by the Fire element, of which the Heart meridian belongs to.  Lessons of the heart meridian are self love, peace, richness, to radiate and acceptance to allow free flowing of energy.

What we can draw from this relationship is that when our heart meridian, or heart centre, is out of balance it will seek to dominate and draw energy from the large intestine meridian.  Whilst there are various things that can put a meridian or centre out of balance typically with the heart meridian it is a lack of self love, forgiveness or acceptance of a situation.

The flow on result of the heart meridian imbalance is that it starts controlling the large intestine meridian.  Such control causes the large intestine meridian to become deficient and thus doesn’t have the energy to flow appropriately.  Thereby resulting in a lack of self worth, heightened fear of rejection and/or heightened sense of loneliness.

 

So what’s the solution?

As with many things there can be more than one solution and you’ve got to find what is right for you.  Here are some suggestions which could work for you.

Exam your beliefs

Our emotions derive from what we are thinking and/or what we believe.  We know that loneliness derives from sadness.  So what are you thinking, or what do you believe that makes you feel sad.

Beliefs are a self fulfilling prophecy.

What we believe creates an expectation of what is likely to happen, this influences our behaviours (as well as how we feel) and then creates the basis of what actions we do or don’t take. In turn the actions or activities that we are doing or not doing will be the result or outcome we achieve.

This means that if you want to change your results or your behaviours, you need be aware of your beliefs to ensure they support what you want to achieve and who you want to be.

Positive / empowering beliefs are permission slips for getting the outcomes you want.

Learn how to change beliefs with our online course:  https://innersagisms.thinkific.com/courses/create-supportive-beliefs

Self love

As we have just learnt from a Chinese Medicine perspective it is important to ensure that the heart chakra is balanced.  A key way to do this is to love and nourish yourself.

The best way to cultivate self love is to know who you are.  So list your positive traits, what is it that you love about yourself and what others love about you.

Now list your not so great traits, all those negative ones which you don’t really want to own up to.  Once you’ve got your list now find the benefit to those negatives.  What is great about those negative traits?  How do they benefit you and how are they a benefit to others!

As to nourishing yourself, these are things or place which make you feel good.  Maybe it is doing your nails, or going to the beach or for a walk, perhaps it is having a bath or just lighting candles.  Whatever it is for you, start loving yourself enough to do it!

Another way to strengthen your heart space is to start each day with being heart unified.  Place your hands in your heart area.  This helps to bring your consciousness from your head into your heart.  Now consider what are you (or could you be) grateful for?  Who are you grateful for?  What happened today or yesterday that you are thankful for?  What makes you happy?  or makes you smile?

Speak up

Many people who experience loneliness complain that they are always there for others, however feel that others aren’t there for them.  In my experience this is often because others consider them to be strong and self reliant person, thus not realising that they too need support.

Therefore sometimes you need to speak up with your friends and let them know how you feel.  Explain to them your needs and what you require from them.   When clients have done this they have been surprised how much their friends didn’t realise they were needed and how much they were loved.

 

Acceptance

Consider the Yin / Yang of your situation.  The familiar Taoist yin/yang symbol is a symbol which reminds us of the dualities in life, and that such dualities create the whole.

It reminds us that every aspect of life has an equal opposite.  Such as male, female; sun, moon; earth, water; good, bad and positive, negative.  One aspect cannot exist without it’s reverse.

When we see the polarities of a situation in equal amounts we become balanced about the situation, person, place or thing.  It is when we are in such balance that we also are at peace about that and thus have acceptance.

So see the benefits / drawbacks of what you are feeling lonely about.  Make sure you have more than 15 benefits and ideally 50.  Also ensure that you have equal (if not more) benefits to help you shift into acceptance.

Have a goal or purpose

Rather than wait until <x> happens, start right now to live your life to it’s fullest.  What have you been putting off?  or what haven’t you had time for?  Rather than be immersed in your loneliness use this time to achieve things for yourself.

When you have a goal it gives you something positive to focus on and whatever you focus on you will attract more of.  It also gives you a something to spend your time on as well as give you a sense of fulfilment

Read more about goal setting:  http://www.theinnersageaustralia.com/2016/11/06/goals-ignite-your-inner-navigation/

Live with sound

If / when you are home alone, turn on the radio or play your favourite CD.  Fill the void with  positive sounds and vibrations.

One of the core concepts of sound healing is that a strong vibration will cause a weaker vibration to vibrate at the stronger frequency. Therefore the right vibrations and sounds can help to help restore your natural equilibrium.

Other ideas are:

  • Connect with others – Contact friends, family or associates whom you haven’t spoken to for a while.
  • Get out and about – This might include visiting people, going for a walk, sitting at your local cafe or library or even going out to social functions.
  • Be a part of the community – Consider a new hobby and/or learning something that interests you.  You might join a local club or association.
  • Volunteering – Get the focus off you and onto others by volunteering.  Its also a great way to connect with like minded people.
  • Consider getting or caring for a pet –pets are wonderful companions and can provide comfort and support during times of stress, ill-health or isolation.  If you can’t have your own there are plenty of options where you can take someone else’s pet for a walk.

 

The key to combating loneliness is taking action.  However if after trying these techniques you are still struggling with building loneliness then consider scheduling an appointment for kinesiology.  You can book an appointment with us via:  http://www.theinnersageaustralia.com/appointments/

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Kinesiology

Signs it’s time to see a kinesiologist

A Kinesiologist is an energy medicine specialist. Who places emphasis is on health maintenance, client education and responsibility by identifying the causative influences triggering health (mental, physical, chemical) imbalances.  Anything a Kinesiologist does, or suggests the client does, is to restore health, wellness and vitality, therefore enhancing the clients innate healing energies.

Whilst kinesiology is based on ancient techniques, which have been practised for thousands of years, it is a relatively new modality which was established in the early 1970’s.  Founded on Western philosophies such as Chiropractic, Counselling, Anatomy and Physiology it was coupled with Eastern philosophies such as Meridians, Acupressure, Triad of Health and Chakras.

A fundamental principle of Kinesiology is that the body, mind and spirit has innate ability to heal itself which, at times, needs support to re-align and connect to this innate healing ability.

Humans are three dimensional beings, so it makes sense to use a modality which works on all three aspects, which is what Kinesiology does.  Most modalities are usually only one dimension and in some cases two.  This makes Kinesiology regarded as one of the truly holistic modalities.

So what are the signs which may indicate it’s an ideal time for you to see a kinesiologist?

1.     You’ve experienced a significant loss or change

Any type of loss and/or change can trigger the grief process.  Also loss doesn’t just mean death, it can be a completion of any sort.  Changes or loss can be physically; mentally; spiritually and /or financially.  It may relate to the change or loss of a person; thing and/or place.  Whilst grieving is specific process for the individual kinesiology can support the person through this.

2.     Your over emotional

Many people live with negative emotions, accepting this as their “norm”, which results in them feeling less than great about themselves.  Such feelings may be anxiety, fear, anger, self-doubt, frustration, overwhelm, tiredness / lacking energy, feeling on-edge, sad or teary.  Many of clients have transformed these emotions and transformed their lives.

3.    You are feeling imbalanced

If you describe yourself as feeling “out of sorts”, not “like yourself”, out of harmony and/or imbalanced and don’t have a logical (or medical) reason for feeling this way.   You may also be experiencing stress due to life/work or imbalance.

4.  Your body is giving  you feedback

Our body holds immense wisdom and will give you signs that something isn’t being addressed and thus needs to come back into equilibrium.  Such symptoms may be teeth grinding, insomnia, shortness of breath (for no apparent reason), restlessness, headaches, nail biting, muscle tension or cramping, body aches, stomach upsets or related issues such as bloating, belching, diarrhoea or constipation.

5.    Your neurology is under stress

Signs you are or have experienced neurological stress are brain fogginess, memory issues, loss of balance, co-ordination issues, difficulty concentrating and/or learning, short attention span, disorientation, variances in your vision and/or hearing.

6.  Your internal well being is based on external factors

A sure giveaway that your internal well being is based externally is if you find yourself affected by what people are or aren’t doing and/or who is or isn’t in your life.  Other indicators could be that are you use terminology such as “s/he makes me feel …”, “they did …”, “<x> didn’t happen so I feel …”

7.  Your not living in the now

Are you living in the living in the pain / fear of what has not even happened.  If so it will be resulting in sabotaging behaviour. For example  Tora* wanted to be in a relationship, however she feared being rejected.  When Tora attracts Mr Right there is a 50% chance she may be rejected, however there is also a 50% chance that she may have a loving supportive relationship.    Yet before Tora could even meet Mr Right, she was already living in the pain of being rejected.  *name has been changed for privacy reasons

8.  What you are doing hasn’t or isn’t working

A number of my client have tried one dimensional modalities which, although have worked to some degree, haven’t really helped them shift.  However kinesiology is getting them their desired results.    Whatever it is you are doing, professionally or privately, and it isn’t working then kinesiology might be the right modality to help support your shift.

How to find a kinesiologist

To find a kinesiologist you can search the Australian Kinesiology Association (AKA) website via:  https://www.aka.asn.au.  Check your practitioner is Health Fund registered to ensure their qualifications are current and at the highest industry standard.

You can also book an appointment with me via this link The Inner Sage Availability.  Mention this article to receive a 10% discount.

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What are your emotions telling you?

What are your Emotions telling you?

What exactly are our emotions?  “An emotion is a complex psychological state that involves three distinct components: a subjective experience, a physiological response, and a behavioural or expressive response.”  (Hockenbury & Hockenbury, 2007)

It is interesting that emotions are a “subjective experience”.  Which means that despite (at times) people experiencing the same situations, events, relationships, places, etc the interpretation of such WILL differ.

Yet subjectivity is only one component of what emotions are.  Hockenbury & Hockenbury also determine that an emotions also have a physiological response.  In her book, Molecules of Emotion,  neuroscientist Candace Pert explains “As our feelings change, this mixture of peptides travels throughout your body and your brain. And they’re literally changing the chemistry of every cell in your body.”

Our cells are fundamental building blocks of our physical being.  It is at this level where our health and well-being is determined.    If our cells are flooded with negativity,  negative chemistry will result disabling the cells from performing optimally.

The third component is HOW we respond to our emotions.   The word emotion originates from the French word “emouvoir” which means to excite.  As well as the Latin word “emovere” which means to move.  Our emotions serve to motivate us to take action (move) towards things that excite us.  Emotions also serve for us to take action in order to survive and thus keep ourselves safe from danger.

Emotions Position description

Our emotions serve a purpose and have a job to do.  The problem happens when our emotions become over zealous about their role.  When they (as such) go beyond their position description and become over zealous. Such over zealousness creates imbalance and our emotions require “performance management”.

When we understand the message our emotions are giving us then we are given the key as to how to manage them!

So what are our emotions telling us?

Anger
Anger is often a catalyst for change.  It gives way for the opportunity to transform and to take responsibility.  Ask yourself:   what needs to change in your life?  what do you need to take responsibility for?  what part did you play in the situation? how can you create more peace in your life?  Action:  Practice forgiveness

Depression
Depression provides an opportunity for a person to get to know themselves at a deeper and genuine level.   If we don’t allow depression to take over, it is an emotion which can motivate people to deep and lasting healing.   Ask yourself:  what are the benefits of feeling down?  how does this feeling serve me?  what does it give me excuses not to do?  what is it that I’ve been suppressing that I need to address?

Fear
Fear and excitement use the same energy! Although people tend to misread excitement as fear, thus sabotaging ourselves from taking action and enabling change.  Ask yourself:  what is the worse thing that could happen with this change?  and what can I do to counteract that?  What are the benefits of change?  What are the drawbacks of not changing?  Action:  Do something small which you are fearful of each day.  You build up your resistance to fear and create a habit of taking action despite fear.

Grief
Grieving occurs when the person has or perceives loss.  Whether that loss is a person, relationship, home and/or job.  Whatever the loss is grief is an important part of healing.  However if we prolong our grief it keeps a person stuck in the past and inhibits them from moving forward.  Ask yourself:  how has my loss given way for new opportunities?  If the loss is a person consider how moving forward honours them.

Guilt
Guilt is a very destructive emotion which keeps the person imprisoned and confined rather than feeling free.  It is an indicator that the person needs to lighten their energy and release the burdens they are carrying.   Ask yourself: what is the lesson in the situation for me?  what is the lesson for other/s?   Action:  Go to a park and swing – feel the freedom it gives!

Jealousy
Jealousy is most often due to feelings of inferiority as well as lack mentality.   It can also close a person’s heart creating resentment and limitation.  Action:  Focus on being grateful, finding the blessings in EVERYTHING.  Also use meditations (or essences) which help open your heart.

Judgement
Judgement can be an indicator of controlling behaviours or the need to be in control.  It is an emotion which inhibits the person from being empowered as they are putting others down to feel better about them self.  Often when this behaviour is imbalanced it is due to being conflicted within.  Ask yourself:   What can I do to honour myself?  and others?  Focus on meditations which focus on trusting the flow of life.

Overwhelm
Overwhelm diminishes our peace and creates chaos.   It often occurs when we are looking at the big picture and many things at once.   Action:  Focus on firstly prioritising the activities, then breaking them down into manageable chunks.  Use breathing or meditation techniques to create centredness and peace.

Rejection
Rejection or more aptly put the fear of rejection stops many from pursuing their goals and fully connecting with the joy of life.  When feeling rejection there is a need to release from patterns of self-criticism and self-pity to work on increasing self worth.  Consider this:  That rejection is not of you or your work.  Rather it’s due to someone not taking the time to understand what you have to offer and as a result they have lost out.

Resentment
Resentment happens when we feel we have been unfairly treated or feel taken advantage of.  As resentment continues to resonate it turns into righteousness and we fail to see points of view other than our own.  Action step:  Consider what the other person’s point of view is in the situation.  Perhaps set up two chairs in one chair you speak as yourself and in the other you speak as the other person.

Sadness
Refer to Grief

Stress
Stress occurs when people are not living in the present moment.  As it continues they neglect their personal needs, particularly the tension that builds up.  Instead of allowing things to flow they strain to get things done, piling on more tasks as they go.  Action steps:  Use Resonate Essences “Present Time” spray or use our “Calling your Spirit back” meditation.  What specific aspect relating to yourself have you been neglecting? e.g exercise, food, water

Unworthiness
When a person feels unworthy it is because they fail to see the value that they contribute to the world.  They are often very critical of themselves and judge themselves more harshly than others.  They give and/or allow others to take their personal power.   Action:  Define your boundaries; what is and isn’t acceptable to you.  Ask others to list three positive things about you.  At the end of the day for three weeks write down all your achievements, things you did well or that you wouldn’t usually do.

Worry
Refer to fear

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