It had made me wonder what is the reasons people would hinder or sabotage their healing, especially when they invest time and money to do so. It just didn’t make sense when I had clients who despite their strong desire for change, remained in their “wounds”.
The reason people will hinder their healing is due to a few factors, however the main reason is the most potent. Which is when a person is overly associated with their wound, or idea of them self with that pattern of behaviour, that they don’t know who they are without it. Which means they don’t know what life would be like without it. This in itself creates fear.
At a deeper unconscious level to be in that pattern or wound provides them with a sense of safety, because they know how to do life with it. They have a clear idea of who they are with it.
To not do so, have a sense of uncertainty which can at times be destabilising One of my driving forces is to get results for my clients. It feeds my soul to know that, together, we are achieving the change they desire (plus more!).
I pleased to say that most of my clients get results, so when I have a client who is hindering or sabotaging their results it leads me to question the reason for this…as well as the solution. Of which upper levelling is the key.
To understand upper levelling first lets consider the common denominators as to the reason people don’t heal are because they:
- due to the association with their wounds the change they desire is too fearful and they have no vision as to who they are or what life is without them;
- sabotage their change and find reasons which keep them limited and within their comfort zone;
- aren’t releasing “stuff” on all three dimensions;
- have beliefs and expectations regarding healing that sabotages their progress; and
- are stuck in the “why” either trying to understand the reason <x> has happened or the reason why they are where they are at.
The term “woundology” was coined by Caroline Myss to describe how people define and created an identity via their wounds, whether those wounds be physical, emotional, or social.
In her book, “Why people don’t heal and how they can” Caroline Myss writes that some people who want to heal “are striving to confront their wounds, valiantly working to bring meaning to terrible past experiences and traumas, and exercising compassionate understanding of others who share their wounds. But they are not healing. They have redefined their lives around their wounds and the process of accepting them. They are not working to get beyond their wounds. In fact, they are stuck in their wounds.”
The first and most important step for change is to get a clear image of who you are without the pattern of behaviour / wound. Consider how you would look with that new aspect of you. How would you act or respond to people, life, situations? what would speak about and focus on? How do you sound? How would you feel within yourself?
For many people whether they are trying to loose weight, manifest something or heal when making any form of change they reach a limit where they are faced with a block to their change. Often this will show up as a plateau of some kind.
This limit is the outer barrier of where your current comfort zone lies. Whilst many desire to heal and make change they don’t have the tenacity and willpower to push through their limit and barriers. Thus they will find ways to justify not continuing with the change work.
It is at this point where you are faced with a choice to either sabotage your change so you fall back into our comfort zone OR to expand your comfort zone that makes change safe.
Three Dimensions of healing
To have lasting change we must work on all three aspects of our being. Humans are three dimensional beings, so it makes sense to use a modality which works on all three aspects, which is what Kinesiology does. Most modalities are usually only one dimension and in some cases two. This makes Kinesiology regarded as one of the truly holistic modalities.
A Kinesiologist believes in a methodology called the “triad of health”. Which means that well being and health is dependent on the harmonious congruency and balance between a client’s Physical / Structural, Emotional / Mental and Nutritional / Chemical aspects.
When one aspect of the triad of health is imbalanced, then it affects the other sides and therefore areas in our life. For example a person who chronically worries (mental) may lose their appetite (nutrition is affected) or experience irregularities in their body (physical).
In many of my articles I refer to beliefs. This is because they are such a driving force of our emotions and behaviours. Simply put Beliefs are a self fulfilling prophecy.
What we believe creates an expectation of what is likely to happen, this influences our behaviours (as well as how we feel) and then creates the basis of what actions we do or don’t take. In turn the actions or activities that we are doing or not doing will be the result or outcome we achieve.
This means that if you want to change your results or your behaviours, you need be aware of your beliefs to ensure they support what you want to achieve and who you want to be.
Positive / empowering beliefs are permission slips for getting the outcomes you want.
Learn how to change you beliefs with our online course: https://innersagisms.thinkific.com/courses/create-supportive-beliefs
Some get stuck in needing the know the why….the why they are the way they are; the why something happened to them. Yet any sentence that begins with “why” is seeking justification not healing.
If an unconscious person with a burst artery goes into emergency the doctors don’t stop to ask why did this happen, they simply move to apply the solution. They don’t need to know the “why” to apply the healing.
Thus too, we can use the philosophy. The why isn’t as important as the how.
Upper Levelling to change and heal
Upper levelling is when we push through our limits which is done using techniques that work on mind, body and spirit. Yet as per Lao Tzu’s quote “A thousand mile journey begins with one step”.
Be mindful that you might not achieve your desired change “overnight”, it also takes discipline and committed practice to achieve your healing goal. Which is the first step, defining what it is you want to achieve.
Once you know what you want to achieve and have a defined goal. You then need to trust you can achieve this goal and take actions that align you to it. Ensuring the actions you take are from a mental, physical and spiritual aspect.
Know that it is normal to feel vulnerable with any change. When you are upper levelling be mindful that the closer you reach the barrier of your comfort zone, the likelihood you’ll feel this. It is also important that when you reach here you keep moving forward, even if at a gentler pace.
To move forward means you are taking consistent and authentic actions. Such actions that extend your limits to elevate your self to a new level – a new way of being and thus making change.
One last thing….remember that any change, even if modest, is a move forward.
Keeping these in mind, a kinesiology balance can assist you. If you want to book an appointment you can do so via: http://www.theinnersageaustralia.com/appointments/